Passive Aggressive Quest For Freedom!

OMGosh! Time has flown by so fast and I have been so involved (in myself I’m sorry to say) that I cannot believe how long it’s been since I put up a new post. I will confess that I have been very focused on getting things squared away here, so I have been neglectful in other areas. I am almost caught up, plus a friend of mine is hell bent on putting together a schedule for himself, and including me and a schedule for myself, so…

In the meantime…I am living in 110-115 degree weather and trying to keep my indoor-outdoor cat in the house because he could have a “kitty stroke”. So what does the passive aggressive boyfriend do? Talk to me through the sliding glass door when I’m outside, and act totally surprised when he lets the cat out. He is smart enough to know that if the cat dies, he’s next. LOL. So much for that passive aggressive tendency.

I have found a new church home down here. It took awhile, but I think I’m ready to plug in and get going on something outside of cyberspace that’s outside of me. Of course the passive aggressive boyfriend won’t be part of it, but I don’t care. He says he doesn’t believe and after all these years I’m still not sure if that’s a bunch of BS or he really doesn’t believe, but that’s his problem. In the meantime I’m finally starting to make new friends which will definitely help with a new life.

The passive aggressive boyfriend has been a little friendly lately. It’s been a couple of years since we’ve had any “intimacy” (sex) so I think he’s finally getting a little tired of “amusing” himself. I don’t think he realizes that this passive aggressive “used to be” victim isn’t the same female he got together with years ago. Oh well. I’m just wondering now when to have “the talk”. I think it’s time he understood exactly where we stand.

Now, the real shocker, what I’ve been thinking about lately as I prepare my life to have no crap. I’m thinking I’m 57 yrs. old with a 64 yr. old passive aggressive. I’m thinking I still have a whole life ahead of me, BUT, right now the last man I was married to was a Canadian. I cannot collect Social Security here. I am actually considering marrying the passive aggressive because 1) if anything happens to him medically, I’m the only one that knows anything about him and his sons are going to be asking me anyway 2)I can collect his social security if any thing happens to him. I think after being involved with the passive aggressive for the last 12 yrs., I’ve earned it. LOL. Haven’t really decided either way yet.

What would you say? If I really believe there is life after the passive aggressive, then do I really need to go there?

8 Responses

  1. I’m not sure I understand why you wouldn’t be collecting your own SS but if you factor in the age difference and, most certainly the “deserving” factor, I’d say you’d be in a marriage that’s more of a business arrangement than anything else and as long as you recognize that…..and I know you would…I’d say do what you need to do. I’m curious about another part of your article…the fact that your PA doesn’t believe in God. My XPA didn’t either and, I think I told you, he was an ordained minister for a decade or more. Is it common for PA’s to be non-believers? Oh yes, he’s the Great Pretender. Hey, I’m gonna write you an email so we can reconnect. I miss ya.

  2. Speaking as someone trying desperately to divorce a PA, I thInk of him like an opportunistic cancer that will continue to destroy me from the inside out if I leave him even the smallest access to me. It’s simply ” what they do”.
    As a victim of the mental and verbal abuse that I (we’ve all ) suffered at the hands of these very sick people, our judgement in terms of what is “normal” in relationships- very broken.
    In the end, and said with compassion and understanding- “Run like hell, and thank God you got yourself out no matter how long it took”

    Wishing us all strength and the guidance from whatever God you believe in!!

  3. Please tell me you will not accept so little ….you have helped through some very hard days…so here goes…..DON’T do this… will lose yourself respect….and die a little more each day inside…….

  4. Please don’t do it!!!! Most of us spend years trying to get out of our PA marriages and you want to get into one?!?!?

  5. You must be married for ten years to draw his ss.

    • Sheree- Hi, Welcome, and thanks for the advice. Actually, the 10 yr. rule only applies if you are divorced
      when the spouse dies, not if you are married at the time. If you are married when the spouse passes, there is no time limit at all.

      Thanks again.

  6. Ladybeams, how are you doing?
    Sending you my best regards, Ann

  7. Isn’t he still married? Wasn’t there a post some time ago about you finding out that he is actually still married?? He’ll have to get divorced first.

    That aside, I think you have your energies misplaced. Instead of focusing on marrying him, continue to focus on improving your self sufficiency.

    My two cents- ain’t no ss check worth that ride.

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