New Passive Aggressive Behavior Unpredicted

Since we moved, I have run up against a new passive aggressive behavior that I never predicted. The passive aggressive boyfriend appears to be afraid to leave the house! What the heck? This place is terrific, and every time I venture out I explore a little more, learn more where things are located, etc. I am truly shocked. When we moved to our last place, it was him that learned his way around first, and quickly. I mentioned him going for a Sunday paper the other day and he says he’s “still kind of nervous”.

My mistake I guess was buying his beer and cigs. He really hasn’t had to leave the house, but I won’t make that mistake again. We are so centrally located, he almost couldn’t get lost.

What the passive aggressive has managed to accomplish with this new behavior is that now one of the things he used to do for me without a moment’s thought, has turned into one more thing that I do.  He has applied for work here, but he hasn’t even ventured out to see where it is. Since he could apply on line he figures that’s all he has to do for now I guess.

Is this how a passive aggressive turns into a recluse? I’m really worried about him. My job now is to come up with ways to get him out of  the house, at least for awhile. As I said, this is one passive aggressive behavior I never would have predicted.


2 Responses

  1. I left my PA in August after he caught me off guard and assaulted me. This was after ten years of marriage, twelve years together. I began to see a therapist (the marriage counselor was a joke and PA appeared but refused to participate so that ended pretty quickly) after I left everything except my cat, my car, my laptop and some clothes and after piecing things together, in safety and in hindsight, he wasn’t only PA but in all likelihood, high up on the autism spectrum, probably Asperger’s Syndrome which is often hallmarked by obsessive behavior, social awkwardness or discomfort and inability to adapt to any change no matter how small. Is there any chance this could be the case with you PA? Passive aggression can be a symptom of an even larger problem.

  2. I find it so intriguing – the older he gets the more pronounced the PA behaviour….I am getting close to pulling the plug- no joy, no bliss, just absolute freaking frustration……everyday…..

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