What Would A Passive Aggressive Father Do?

broken familiesIf you are married to a passive aggressive and are “staying together for the sake of the children”, you may want to read this.  I would venture to say that most families with a passive aggressive parent eventually implode, or explode, but rarely come out well adjusted. Of course I would like to again state here for the record, I am not a therapist or doctor of any kind, and I do not have the statistics to back me up, but I am very opinionated. LOL.

So, what would a passive aggressive father do if he was about to watch his kid jump off  a cliff? You would hope the passive aggressive father would stop the child, right? Isn’t that what any normal parent would do? In the case of a passive aggressive parent, I’m not so sure.

I wrote about one of my passive aggressive boyfriend’s sons in “Passive Aggressive Offspring” the last time I posted. Unfortunately that situation has only gotten worse. He’s up half the night and sleeps half the day. He lives by the TV in the living room as we have no where else to put him right now.

Last week we were supposed to go somewhere and get something done early, say around 9:00am. He had been up about 10 min. after 8:00, and his alarm or phone had gone off a little while after that, and all he did was cover up and go back to sleep. This son is a grown man. Naturally when he did that, I assumed he changed his mind about going with me and I let him sleep. When he finally got up that afternoon, he asked if I had gone without him. When I said I had, he said how I could have got him up. I explained to him that he’s 41 yrs. old. I assumed if he wanted to get up he would have.

There was some excuse for the next couple of days as well. Finally on Saturday when his father was home, I mentioned to my PA boyfriend about getting this thing done. He said he would wake his son up “pretty soon”. By 9:30 am when I had come back from taking care of a couple of other things, the BF said he had awakened him, but I still wasn’t seeing any signs of life. It took until almost noon to finally get going. Obviously I was the only one concerned that the other people involved were doing us a favor, and we might be imposing the longer we waited.

My girlfriend is getting terribly frustrated because I haven’t done anything about it. On top of that, he’s about drank her out of house and home. The father knows all about this, but says nothing. It’s not my son. Why should I be left to do the dirty work? Why do I put up with it? Because he’s been doing us a favor with some work we need done. Would it be different if it were my kid? Oh definitely!

Now it seems that the youngest is on a rampage. He has been getting out of control on alcohol, and been terribly abusive to his mother. The last time he got drunk (and possibly drugged up) he stole his brother’s car and was verbally abusive to his sister-in-law. Their mother has been in really poor health for awhile now, and this added stress has got to be taking it’s toll. Unfortunately the mother just calls the two other sons to do something instead of doing something (like calling the police) herself.

I asked my BF if he didn’t feel like he should talk to the boy, since he was now being so abusive to the mother. The boy’s wife has already thrown him out for abusing her more than once. He said yes he would, unbeknownst to me already having this little talk with his other son already. Will he? It’s been 4 days, 2 of that being a weekend when the boyfriend was off work, and he hasn’t made the call yet.

Like I said, what would a passive aggressive father do if he saw his child about to jump off a cliff? Who knows?

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2 Responses

  1. To answer your question: What he damn well pleases!

    I once asked my father to pick me up from work after I did some overtime as it was dark and I didn’t want to walk through an isolated industrial area. He agreed and I said that I would be out the front. After allowing time for him to drive the 2km, I locked up and set the alarms.

    He did not show. I did not want to stay there, so I started to walk home, terrified. When I arrived home, dad was there and I asked him where he had been? He explained that he had been changing the ink form his printer and that it was a messy job. I was very upset and he was not at all concerned about the danger he put me in, doing the insincere ‘I’m sorry’ routine etc.

    • Pink- It’s so sad when children have to grow up with a passive aggressive parent. When children are little they have very few demands, so a passive aggressive parent may appear to be a good parent. As the child grows older and wiser, unfortunately they begin to have needs and the passive aggressive parent starts turning his passive aggressive behavior (that his wife has been dealing with all along) toward his children.

      If it’s at all possible, two of the biggest and best things you can do for yourself is 1) build a good support system so you don’t have to rely on him for anything 2) do your best not to take on his ways. So many times the child of a passive aggressive parent will end up being passive aggressive themselves. Since you seem to understand about your father’s passive aggressive behavior and how it makes you feel, you already are headed down the right track.

      Take care of yourself, and feel free to come by anytime you need to rant a little. =)

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