Enter the Passive Aggressive Employee…

There’s some good news about having to move. The Passive aggressive BF will be able to stay with the same company he’s with now (if that’s good news). They are actually thrilled that he’s moving to where we are going and looking to give him more hours and more responsibility. That’s good news to me because he is making less than 1/5th of what he was making on unemployment, which was not quite 1/2 of what he was making when he was working in high tech. Needless to say we keep sliding downhill.

I am noticing little passive aggressive changes in his behavior toward his job. When he has to go to someone’s home, this company is like the telephone company and gives the customer a 4 hour window, between 8-noon, or between 1-5. If I am the customer, I’m one of those that wants the workman to show up as early as possible so I can get on with my day. Lately, the passive aggressive employee seems to think he doesn’t need to show up until at least 9. He used to call the customer the night before and verify the time, but he quit doing that. Now when I mention calling first, he acts like I’m nuts.

There are other little subtleties also, like wearing jeans instead of the uniform pants they made him buy. He seems to feel because he got away with that a couple of times in a warehouse, that that is perfectly fine all the time now. I know this seems like small stuff, but it all ads up.

Thank goodness that he’s reliable enough and works alone most of the time, that he may just get away with some of his antics. I can see though, he is slowly but surely “self-sabotaging“. Thus, the transition for being glad at his age to get a job, to the passive aggressive employee.

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2 Responses

  1. I fantasize about the day when he can ‘self -sabotage’ all he wants and it truly is ‘self’ sabotage… I will be so grateful once my kid is old enough to dodge, ignore or otherwise respond in a healthy manner to his ‘collateral damage’. For now, I am just deeply, deeply glad for the distance I’ve maintained from him and the stability I’ve placed for me and my kid. It still ain’t paradise, but it’s 1000x better than it was three years ago!

    • Peggy- I agree. “Self” sabotage really isn’t the correct term is it? Your kid is awfully lucky to have such a smart Mama to get out of that environment and give your kid a chance of learning what “normal” should be. It’s great that you have such a close relationship with your kid as so many wait until it’s too late, then the kid acts toward them like the PA spouse did. Sometimes I just want to shout to the whole world…

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