Putting Passive Aggressive Feet To The Fire

A few days ago Peggy asked me in a comment what would be a “deal breaker” for me. This may end up being it. LOL. In the coming days I will be putting the passive aggressive boyfriend’s feet to the fire, so to speak.  There can be no excuses, no passive aggressive behavior when it comes to the new project of rebuilding this mobile home. We are going to have to live in it as we rebuild, and you know the saying “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” I cannot live without some of the creature comforts, such as a toilet, etc. LOL.

I have already learned lesson 1 which I should have known to start with, and that is when I find something we need, get it. Don’t talk it over with the passive aggressive. Don’t wait for him to make a decision because by the time he does, what we wanted will be gone. I had a chance twice for laminate flooring for the dining area and kitchen. This is typical passive aggressive behavior. I  should have known to just do what needed to be done. See, even I as experienced as I am with passive aggressives, still get caught off guard. LOL.

I was surprised at how much enthusiasm the passive aggressive boyfriend showed for the project. He actually spent time looking for work in the new location, plus planning out what we need and what we need to do.  (He’s spent a great deal of his career doing what he calls “staging”) He can actually continue on with the same company he is currently with, it’s just a matter of how much work they can give him. If he can find a new full time job, I’m all for it, but at this point at least he has a job.

I explained to him that we really can’t do anything until I can get the police out there on Monday to write a report. What we can do is pack and collect the materials we will need. The holiday and being a weekend has slowed us down quite a bit, but looking forward to everything being a “go” tomorrow. For today, maybe he can start getting his workbench and stuff packed. Besides being in charge of what I am supposed to be doing, I have to remember the tendencies of the passive aggressive and make sure we keep moving forward.



2 Responses

  1. It’s been a long time since I’ve visited, but I had to stop by and wish you well.

    It is alarming to read about your discovery. Yes, that would do it for me. I would start making plans to be alone, some way, some how. But, that’s just me.

    I know that we enablers get into a pretty comfortable place with the “evil” we know, rather than the “evil” we don’t know about—in the future. It is extremely difficult to break the pattern. We make so many rationalizations, don’t we?

    1) We know them so well.

    2) We might never share a home with anyone ever again.

    3) They CAN be very useful when they are functioning.

    4) Maybe they are the best we can do.

    5) After all this investment of love, time and sacrifice, we just don’t want to give up.

    We can muddle a long for a very long time with these kinds of people, but how will we look back at this time when we’re 90? Will we wish we’d taken a chance with a new life?

    These are the things I think about. May you find the right answers for you…

    • Colleen- Hi! You’re right, it has been a long time. So glad to hear from you again. Thank you so much for your input and you are absolutely right. I often say even 5 yrs. from now, let alone when I’m 90. This is best for me at this time.

      I know I could do better, and I think of that often, but not with what I’m going through right now. I don’t have time to train another one. LOL.

      So glad to know you’re out there. Feel free anytime.

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