Examples of Passive Aggressive Behavior #602

Hey everyone! Sorry I’ve been sort of MIA (missing in action) lately. As soon as I told a friend one of my goals was to keep up better with the blog, it was like the whole world says “No you don’t”. LOL. I hope this finds you all well and looking forward to at least some part of the holiday season, no matter what it is you celebrate.

Just doing some quick updates here on what’s been going on in my little passive aggressive corner of the world. Rather random, but that’s how life is sometimes. LOL.

For those of you who know my mother is in the hospital, or knew she was, she’s still in there. We’re in month 5 now. We are making definite progress though, so that’s a good thing. It looks like they will be moving her shortly to a convalescent home for more extensive rehab soon. When I went to check out the facility, we talked about what the goals were, etc. regarding my mother’s health. They were all sweet talk and acting like they cared on what I thought about the facility. Come to find out they tell the doctor a whole different story. They should have just told me when I was there! Example #1.

My sister has been to visit “our” mother once since she left to go visit her daughter and their new baby the first week of Aug. I’m not exactly sure what happened, except that while my mother was unconscious in ICU, my sister thought she might die, so she visited. Once my mother looked like she was going to make it, I guess my sister wasn’t interested anymore. She visited one time since my mother has been awake, and I think that was just because she probably had a doctor’s visit next door at the medical center. She hasn’t called for any updates, and I never heard from her at all during Thanksgiving. Oh wait, I think the status “Happy Turkey day to you!!!” on her profile page might have been meant for me. LOL.

I especially love how when I run into her in public, it’s like we’re long-lost friends and she loves me so much, and she’s so happy to see me. When she’s talked to a few friends and one of my children, who happen to be quite loyal to me, she has nothing but the foulest of things to say. If it’s someone she knows is a good friend of mine, she’ll ask them if she’s heard from me. How am I? LOL. Crazy.

Next up. This really falls more into the “If I knew then what I know now” category. Since starting this blog I have learned a lot (thanks to all of you) about Narcissism, Border line personality, etc.

Five yrs. ago I sold my mobile home to a man on an installment contract. I thought at the time it was a “win-win” situation. Boy, did he talk a good game, but I saw some flags. If I hadn’t been so desperate to get out from under the space rent at the time, I probably would have called the whole deal off. Listen to your gut, people!

This guy has turned out to be the most Narcissistic Sociopath I have ever met in my life. Well, excluding the father of my children. For the last 3 yrs. at least, this man has caused me nothing but grief. Our contract is about to come to an end, thank you God.

So part of the reason I haven’t been here so much in the last week or so is because I am having to foreclose on him for non-payment. I can’t afford a lawyer (although I do have the best one for mobile homes for advice) so I’m having to do a lot of research to take care of it myself. Usually when I hit him with a Notice of Default, he then makes a payment. This time he didn’t. He already cost me my home of 17 yrs. by not paying when he knew I needed it the most, but now he’s almost gotten me evicted from where we are renting. Luckily, my landlord has been very patient, and I have been very honest with him about what’s going on. The guy at the mobile home doesn’t realize when I serve him with a Notice of Sale tomorrow, he only has 10 days to fix everything.

It would be one thing if he had a problem with money, the economy, etc., but I know that’s not the case. He does most everything by cash (getting paid) and he always has thousands on hand, plus since we started this contract, I know he’s received some kind of settlement. So we’ll see what happens next. I would be perfectly happy to move back to the mobile and be rid of him forever, but I don’t see that happening quite yet.

A true picture of passive aggressiveness. I went to court today against a credit card company for illegal practices. Now, really, if you look at it, talk about passive aggressive. They offer you credit. Pretend to be your friend if you’re having a problem, and then attack figuring most people won’t fight back because they are so big. Well they were wrong on this Chickie, and I got my day in court today, and won.

This has become so long, I’m skipping the BF tonite. I’m telling you, passive aggressives walk amongst us. LOL

Advertisements

5 Responses

  1. Looks like you have been a busy lady. Good for you on sticking up for your interests in that court thing.
    I face the same thing (court) if my PA doesn’t want to agree to what is fair and within the law. He has begun this “I gave you” type of thing in his dealings with me as if to say he owned everything and has since day one. So now I know that it wasn’t a “we” or “our” in his mind- EVER. He is the poor one and I am the one that has it all. Get Real! I so desparately want to move on and be done with this. But I will not go down without a fight if he thinks he is going to dictate what “further” he wants to “give” me.
    I had a sister just like yours. Interested only when it suits her and no time for others when it doesn’t. And surely not honest with the dealings at hand. Sad. We go through life with all sorts, don’t we?

    So sorry to hear the problems with your mother’s care and the inconsistancies of what the facility says and what they tell the doctor. (did I get that right?) Anyway, I’m rooting for ya Ladybeams.
    God Bless

    • jmarie- Thanks so much for the encouragement. Court went well and I won easily. As for you and any court thing you may have coming up with your PA, one of the things I always advise anyone getting ready to split is to make sure you start packing little things that mean a lot to you away little by little. Your PA’s type of thinking is exactly why, and is very typical. They believe everything they ever gave you they have a right to take back, plus anything of yours that was yours even before the relationship, but if they like it, they think they have a right to it. I’ve had some women tell me how even their wedding rings come up missing, old family heirlooms, etc. Just a word to the wise. I know we don’t like to play that way. I personally like everything to be straight up and above board, but we all here know how well that works.

      My mother’s doing much better thanks. They have taken the feeding tube out completely, which was one of the stumbling blocks and she’s eating a lot better now. They should be moving her to a care home pretty soon.

      Thanks again. It’s nice to know I have friends behind me here. I’m rooting for you too, My Dear.

  2. Ladybeams…I came across this on the internet. I am not sure if you have seen it. It is my first for this. This really helps me understand how the ex became passive/aggressive. Of what I do know about his family, his life, his struggles and PA. This brought some light to his situation. I think if I had found this earlier…I would have brought it to his attention. I do know it is hard for a PA to change but I think this is a must read for anyone dealing with a PA.

    http://www.drirene.com/recovery_from_passive_aggressive.htm

    • Sami,
      Excellent website. Very thourough in explanation. Something to think about for sure. If you go deeper into the site and read about boundaries, personal responsibility, I – for one – see my problems.
      I remember in Hamlet by William Shakespear a quote that is a paradox in and of itself and it takes much thought to apply to any given situation.,,especially setting boundaries and dealing with PA.
      Hamlet says, “You must be cruel to be kind”…. So many questions about that statement come up, it is almost mind boggling.
      In so much as the site you gave us deals with the inner workings of our psyche, It truly does exercise the mind to know we all face many things about ourselves that we can work on to become healthy thinkers or at least stronger human beings. I know my work on myself is just beginning. Thank you for that site..it makes me think and I like to think and learn, even if I DID find a few things that I truly need to fix about myself for the future. ICK – oh well, let the journey begin.. I’m ready. Better late than never.
      jmarie

    • Sami- Thanks for the link. Very interesting reading. Isn’t it amazing, the date on that is 2000, not 2010. Isn’t it sad that there hasn’t been much progression in the last 10 yrs.? Although it does lend to just proving how predictable passive aggressive behavior is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: