Here we go. Hold on, its likely to be a bumpy ride. LOL. Here we are into another holiday season with our passive aggressive partners. For those of you who have been strong and smart enough to get out of the situation, you can just “remember when” and be thankful you don’t have to deal with the crap this year. LOL.
Okay everybody, exercise #1- Take a deep breath. In with the good air through the nose, out with the bad air through the mouth. Repeat.
From past performance we already know that whatever we do to make this Thanksgiving nice, given the opportunity the passive aggressive will do what ever they can to thwart our efforts. Being forewarned is being forearmed.
This holiday season our main focus is self-preservation instead of trying to please the passive aggressive. We already know pleasing is almost impossible, but we can take care and please ourselves. First and foremost rule, don’t give the passive aggressive any responsibility that if they should ‘forget’ or screw it up, can have any great impact one way or another on your day.
One thing to understand is by doing everything ourselves, or if you’re having company letting someone bring a dish, etc. it’s not that we’re letting the passive aggressive get away with anything. It is a way for us to have complete control and lessen the odds that we are going to have our day ruined and end up being very upset.
For instance, don’t ask the passive aggressive to pick up the turkey unless you want to take the chance that you won’t have one. Don’t ask him to take it out of the freezer unless you want to try to cook it frozen Thanksgiving Day.
If you’re having company and you ask him or her to do a few things around the house, don’t let it upset you if they don’t get done. You and I both know odds are they won’t. Go into everything you ask the passive aggressive to do with that frame of mind. Ask yourself, ‘now if he/she doesn’t do this, is it important enough to me that I’m going to get really upset?” If the answer is yes, either do it yourself or hire someone to get it done. If it’s not that big of deal, say the lawn doesn’t get mowed or the yard doesn’t get cleaned up, then just make the normal excuses like “Yeah, excuse the yard. I asked him to clean it up but he couldn’t un-glue his butt from the couch during football” or something like that. When dealing with the PA you really have to “pick your battles” so to speak.
This is part of keeping your sanity. If your passive aggressive continually ruins your holidays, and you let the same thing go on year after year, you really only have yourself to blame. I know that sounds harsh, but really, if you get your hand burned on the stove, you don’t keep putting it on there over and over again. Why keep beating your head against the wall?
And if you feel yourself starting to get stressed out because it’s turning into another one of those holidays with the passive aggressive, go back to exercise #1.
Filed under: dealing with holidays, examples of passive aggressive behavior, handling stress, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive holidays, self esteem | Tagged: coping with a passive aggressive, examples of passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive relationships, sanity, Thanksgiving day |