From the comments I read here, many of you are thinking about or are, going through a divorce. So what do you do to get on with your life away from the passive aggressive? For some, by the time you get out you are so disappointed, angry, bitter, the last thing you want is another man in your life. I know when I left the father of my children and he accused me of having a boyfriend, I was so angry I told him after being married to him I’d go lesbian before I ever got involved with another man. (No offense out there).
For others, you’ve lived with the passive aggressive so long and been without love and affection for so long, you’re ready for a new relationship. Now you’re free to hopefully get the kind of life with someone that you thought you were getting when you got involved with the passive aggressive. I’m all for second chances in the ‘love’ department, but I think we need a ‘plan’ just like we plan everything else in life. I have it on good authority I’m on the right track. LOL.
I have two single daughters in their 20’s. They’re starting to get to that age they’re afraid they will never find “Mr. Right”. I have told both of them to make a list of who their Mr. Right is. As I told you in the last blog post, I’ve been listening to Tony Robbins and he takes this a step or two further, which I think is terrific.
Tony Robbins says we should make this list first, before we get hypnotized by the ‘love bug’. In other words, if you are armed with your list you’ll know what you are looking for and what’s a deal breaker. We all think we would spot someone who is passive aggressive after being involved with one already, but that’s not always the case. Many are very different when you start dating than they are when you marry them, right?
So first, make a list of your ‘mate from hell’. This is the easiest place to start. You don’t want a guy that’s passive aggressive, that cheats, that’s physically abusive, blah, blah. You get the idea. Put a star by the stuff that’s an absolute ‘deal breaker’ for you, that you absolutely could not put up with.
Second, make a list of your ‘ideal mate’, right down to what he would look like if you want to. Example: A mate that’s loving and affectionate, who’s monogamous, not afraid of commitment, good sense of humor, is good to your kids if you have any, blah, blah. Do the same thing here. Put a star next to what you absolutely must have in your next mate.
Now you are armed. LOL. At least if you run into Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong you will have a pretty good idea as to which is which. Now, if you want to take it a step further, what kind of person would you have to be to attract your ‘ideal mate’ to you? Where might you find him? What changes do you want to make to attract the kind of person you want in your life?
This all applies to men getting out of a passive aggressive relationship also. Sorry I should have put Mr. or Miss Right, but being female myself…
So now, what are you going to do to get on with the rest of your life away from the passive aggressive?
Filed under: abuse, commitment, leaving the passive aggressive, passive aggressive, surviving passive aggressive relationships, Tony Robbins | Tagged: abuse, Leaving a passive aggressive, passive aggressive, passive aggressive relationships, Tony Robbins |