I will try to do this very “lady-like” but no guarentees, so if you’re easily offended you may not want to read my ranting about my passive aggressive boyfriend.
If it’s not already apparent, I am really pissed, and my eyes have been opened a little further into the deterioration of our relationship.
For those of you who have been with me for awhile (thank you) you’ve read my posts about my passive aggressive BF’s new job, how we’re losing money for him to work, etc. Well, he’s managed now to be working part-time, and bringing home about half of what he did on unemployment, which is actually not even 1/4 of what he was bringing home when we first got together. This figure does not subtract the money he is having to spend for gas to go all over northern California to work, which is probably $40 to $60 a week. Through it all I have managed to pull money out of thin air to keep a roof over our head, etc. , but this time it’s been a little tough. He doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to get tougher!
We have had his middle son living with us off and on for several months. He’s trying to get his life back on track after a split from his girlfriend and getting into some legal trouble, so we haven’t asked him for anything regarding rent, groceries, etc. He has offered several times, so the other night I told the BF he was going to have to borrow $20 to get gas for work. He ended up borrowing $40 because he also needed to buy some tool. He left his original at another job and since it’s a ways away, hadn’t gone back to retrieve it. It turned out he didn’t buy the tool, so he’s been walking around with the extra $20 in his pocket.
On top of that, I had given the passive aggressive BF every dime I had before he borrowed the money from his son. I found a little more money, and here comes my big confession, yes folks, we are smokers, and with that money I bought cigs for both of us. I know I should quit. I know exactly how much money it’s costing us. I know it’s a filthy habit, but until I’m ready to quit because I want to quit, I am ‘super-bitch’ when I’m out of cigarettes. He doesn’t know I know he has money.
This is an example of totally selfish passive aggressive behavior. I even gave him an “out” last night before he went to work saying about how bad it was going to be around here in the morning with both of us out of cigarettes. His reply was “I’ll be fine”. Sure, he will be. He came home this morning with a pack of cigarettes for him. He would have had his beer too if he had gotten off work after the liquor store was open. Last night when I was so really angry, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt, that when he got himself cigarettes, he would bring me home a pack. WRONG!
So now I know, when push really comes to shove, he just throws me under the bus! What this has done for me is that I have cut back, a lot, over the last few days. What it also did for me was show me, all this time that I have been taking care of the passive aggressive boyfriend, and what ever I can pull together he gets his share, that it doesn’t work the same way for him. So now, it’s every man, woman and child for themselves.
Unlike him, I will let him know what I am displeased about, but knowing isn’t going to save him!
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