I’m going through a really hard time right now with my mother in ICU for the last 3 or 4 weeks, which brings some into a little retrospect. My passive aggressive BF is of no help at all, which is fine. I know him. I know how he is. I know what to and what not to expect. It’s been ok. That’s why I’m here. I figured between the sense of humor, and just accepting, that things were ok. They were ok for me at least. I’m starting new businesses, I’m busy, I don’t have time for all that romantic stuff anyway. But over the last few days I’m starting to rethink.
I haven’t been happy or joyful in quite a while. That’s not necessarily his fault. It’s up to me to choose how I feel. But you know, sometimes it would just help to feel like the one that is closest to you was by your side, or even on your side. My mother has been in ICU for 4 weeks now. He basically never asks how she is, can he go to the hospital with me, nothing. And actually, I guess that’s ok for him, because that’s who he is, and I know this. Lately, I’ve been wondering if this is ok for me. Usually I don’t question how he is, because basically we’ve come to an understanding that we don’t really care. We are Platonic roommates. It has worked out ok for both of us. But now I’m wondering, come towards the end of my life, do I want more?
I remember what it was like to have a man take care of me instead of vice versa. I remember what it was like to have someone wrap you in their arms like there was no one else on earth. I remember what it was like to have a man take care of me instead of the other way around. I remember what it was like to be so wrapped up in a man’s arms that you thought nothing on earth could ever touch you.
Even at my age, I think the things I want and need are still possible. The passive aggressive and me may need to have some conversation.
Filed under: examples of passive aggressive behavior, leaving the passive aggressive, passive aggressive, passive aggressive boyfriend | Tagged: passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive parenting |