A Passive Aggressive Victim’s Bio-

My Life coverFirst of all I would like to say thank you so much to all of you who have given me so much support during this time of (emotional) need. I cannot thank you enough to know that we have become such close friends even though we have never met. I can’t tell you how much all your good wishes for my mother mean to me.  My mother hit a little “bump” as they like to call it, LOL, where it looked like they were going to have to do the surgery all over again.  Fortunately they decided it would be a waste of time as the same thing would probably happen again, so they are approaching her healing from a different angle. It seems to be working, at least so far. Any prayers would be appreciated.

Now for the heart of this post. Our very own jmarie whom, if you have been here much recently, you would have no doubt seen her comments on some of my posts, has written a bio. So many of us probably have a book’s worth of material in us, aye? Well, she actually did it.

Her book is titled “My Life – Understanding: Truth, Choice, and Courage”. In her own words:

“I am a wife of a Passive Aggressive man who has decided to write my autobiography and not sugarcoat what my experiences and challenges in life have been.
The book can be found at www.authorhouse.com .  The cost is 22.99 Hard back, 11.99 Paperback, and as soon as they get the e-book, that will cost 4.99. They are still in the process of finishing all of it and the marketing, but it is available. You can also find it on Amazon, but I believe it costs a bit more there. Later it will be available in other venues.
This is my first book. What the book is about is: Me! My life. my challenges, my choices; some good and some not so good. It shows the reader my background and I try throughout the book to explain what I have learned from my experiences. The first part of the book is my childhood and life into my thirties. The second part details the part about my husband and the actions of a typical Passive Aggressive. How it made me question myself and forced me to rethink my life, make the ultimate decision for myself, and how I did it. It’s about finding My Truth, Making My Choices, and Living with Courage.”
While I have not read the book yet, just from the title it sounds like it would offer understanding and encouragement to anyone reading it.  For you and the FCC, I am not getting anything for telling you about this book. I have not received any consideration in any way. Hell, I didn’t even get a free copy of the book. LOL. If you do buy the book from the link to Amazon here, that I do get a few pennies from (I think like 4%) Obviously not why I am promoting the book, but I am all for lending encouragement, and passing along encouragement to others. There are a few who have made it out. It’s not impossible. We just need to “think outside the box”.
And who’s story better to read than another passive aggressive victim’s bio?
If you buy the e-book or the book, please feel free to comment and let us know what you thought.
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12 Responses

  1. My dear Ladybeams,
    Thank you for your generosity. Just send me your mailing address and I will send your free book. It’s the least I can do…I am so sorry for not thinking of it myself.

    Ladybeams, I am sure that you know the support you give JUST by having this website is a Godsend to us all.

    Let’s all give Ladybeams a big round of applause!!!

    It is so important to have the kind of support from others that is encouraging and giving and not judgemental.
    So many can only see the frustration and anger which can stem from the hurt that a victim of PA can develope over time, and are judged by that alone without the understanding of “where” it is coming from. It is the ultimate of misunderstanding from your friends and family especially if they do not “live it” or study it or want to listen.
    So many just want to sweep it under the rug and continue to see the victim as the cause of whatever it is that is making them into a person they truly DO NOT want to be. It is an aloneness that I would not wish upon anyone. Especially since they already feel so alone in their relationship with the PA. God bless those friends who support, listen, and understand (or at least try).

    However, anyone who thinks that friends or family can “fix” the problem are sadly mistaken. We (the partners of a PA) must fix it for ourselves. We have a huge decision to make for ourselves and each and every one will be unique in their needs for their future. Each of us will find what is right for us. The support and the understanding of others will help us to make our decisions. They may not understand it completely like we do, but just to have a listening ear always helps. In the meantime, we are all growing in the understanding of ourselves.

    I must say that had I not reached out and dealt with this for myself, I would have been in a different state at this time and I am not sure my book would have been written. I had to reach deep within myself to find the strength to write about it all. It is a first book for me. In time I may write another…maybe volume two.

    My Book is only a look at what I did and not what anyone else “should” do. I may suggest it, but each will do what is right for them. What I wanted to do is allow my emotions and the world I lived in to be seen. That took a lot of struggle within myself just to do it…and still people will judge me, but that is the least of my worries right now.
    I had to seek what it was about myself that I carried which perpetuated the relationship. That was tough for me.

    But once you find your truth it WILL set you free to live the life you truly deserve and want, no matter what decision you make about your PA relationship. It will also make you a stronger person.
    I don’t have all the answers because I still am learning, but what I do know is deep within myself is a strength that I KNOW I have and I am growing in that strength daily and learning from it.

    I have visited many websites and read many books in my learning and have grown, but none is more important than this website, where we can share and support each other, complain, cajole, throw ideas back and forth, ask the questions that need to be asked and get various responses to allow us to make our own decisions and to learn and believe in ourselves again.

    I still have not found all my answers and yes I still struggle- sometimes a lot- but now I am open to the world and what I can learn from it. Keep sharing. You are all very special in my life and I don’t even know you…but I think we all know each other in a “special” way.

    May Ladybeams be blessed, her mother be healed and may all of you be strong in life.

    jmarie

    • jmarie- Thank you so much for your kind words and I am so glad that you find this site to be so helpful.

      I wasn’t fishing for a free book, honest. I was just putting that in there for the FCC since they made all these new guidelines for referrals on the net, but I would be happy to read the digital copy when it’s ready. I see they have if for Kindle on Amazon. Good luck. I hope it’s a best-seller. I think it’s great to be able to turn something so negative into such a positive experience. I have the initials TIISG on my whiteboard. It stands for “Turn it into something good”. Looks like you have the same motto. LOL.

      • Ladybeams,
        I think that is great that you want to TIISG when it isn’t all that good sometimes. I see an amazing amount of growth in myself since I wrote my book and there are numerous things to consider for either staying or leaving a PA. It doesdepend on each person’s needs. Right now I am getting stronger for myself and understanding it all..with the help of all I’ve read, your website, and the daily events with my PA. I am just thinking, thinking, thinking and BOY do I struggle sometimes (within myself). I do know one thing…I am living far more consciously and that has helped.
        jmarie

        • jmarie- That’s the best thing any of us can do is build ourselves up, get some control of our lives back, and then decide if we can live the rest of our lives in the situation, or just cut our losses and move on. Until we get back what we’ve given away, self-esteem, control, etc. it’s pretty easy to stay even in a bad situation. It’s wonderful to hear how positive you are. Very encouraging.

  2. Ladies, thanks so much for all the info you put out there. I am a “closet married” to a PA. (meaning, not many people see it as PA behaviour, so I’m on my own).
    Just wanted you all to know how much your words mean to me. When I am at my lowest someone has the words or thoughts that I need to pull through. Sometimes it’s just the humor of the situation, at others it the links to further reading. Just keep it up. I would be in far worse shape if it wasn’t for you. You touch others with your words and thoughts. Thank You.

    • Joann- So nice to hear from you and I’m so glad the comments here etc. are of some help.

      Really, if some of didn’t develop a sense of humor at how stupid some of this stuff really is, it scares me to think of where we might be. LOL

      So glad to hear from you. Drop in anytime.

    • Joann,
      Keep your humor up even though it isn’t all that funny sometimes.
      I too live in a situation with my PA that no one recognizes in him. His therepist does however! PA’s have a uncanny ability to keep it from showing to other people. My friends will not even talk about it with me. They refuse to try and understand my position and it really makes a person feel invalidated, disbelieved and ultimately disrespected. I already know that they can’t fix what is wrong in me or in my PA. I have to fix me and my PA has to WANT to fix himself..AH there’s the rub!
      All I can say is be strong..everyone on this website understands your frustration.
      Yes, we are all on our own for the most part. That is life!.. But don’t hesitate to talk to a professional about it so that you can understand it better and become stronger for yourself. Ladybeams and all of us here are on your side and Do understand totally.
      I for one would pay good money for research into a “magic Pill” that would change a PA, but alas, that doesn’t look like it’s in the cards, and my PA would “forget” to take the pill anyway so it’s up to us to know how to deal with the PA if we want to stay in the relationship. If we don’t, then what we learned about it while we were in it, can then be applied to future relationships…or at least we will be better prepared to recognize the dynamics of a PA and avoid the problem again…and ultimately we will be stronger for ourselves.
      jmarie

      • jmarie- Thanks for your reply to Joann here, and you are so lucky to have gotten a therapist that understands passive aggression. So many times I tell people to seek therapy, then the PA just manipulates the therapist. Glad you got a good one. I know they are out there.

        • Ladybeams,
          I am pondering some information right now that is amazingly soul changing. I want to thank you for being here; letting people vent, discuss, search, and ultimately find the truth about themselves. I think I have partially found my truth and am working on improving my understanding about it all. This is going to take time, because there is so much I want to share.
          The little girl inside me has a lot of growing up and learning to do and I want to be there for her. I will return and so will she. God bless the little child inside all of us.
          jmarie

          • jmarie- I think all of us do some soul searching while we go through the day-to-days. I hope you know I wish you all the best. Nurturing the “little one” inside is a good place to start. I look forward to hearing more of your insight when you’re ready.
            God Bless.

          • Hi jmarie, ladybeams said in her previous comment, ” I see they have if for Kindle on Amazon.”

            I just checked Amazon, and it’s currently not available in Kindle format. (It has the link to ask the author/publisher to put it out in Kindle format… on which I did click.) Will this be available again any time soon? 🙂

  3. […] don’t know how many of you read the post I did regarding “A Passive Aggressive Victim’s Bio”which mentioned JMarie’s new book “My Life, My Understanding”, but she has left […]

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