Many times what keeps us sucked into a relationship with a passive aggressive are the memories of how it “used to be”. We remember how things were in the beginning. We remember the person we fell in love with before they started showing their passive aggressive behavior. We keep hoping we can get that person back, recapturing what we’ve lost.
Memories are something that we have for a lifetime. There are some instances when all we really want to do is forget about the world and move on with our lives. If you’re thinking about a divorce, this can be the most difficult time of your life and remembering only the good things can make it even more difficult.
Obviously, it will depend on how long you were married as to how many good and bad memories you have. For some people they may be getting divorced after many long years of marriage. For them, they will have had their share of ups and downs and it is important for them to hold onto the good memories so that they can keep a positive attitude towards life. At the same time, you need to be able to remember the things that have happened that are causing you to think about divorce as a solution in the first place. It is remembering all the passive aggressive behavior, the sabotaging, and making you crazy, that will help maintain your strength to do what you feel you must.
When you are going through a divorce, it will seem like everything will bring up a familiar memory to you. You will want to make sure that you are going to be able to deal with those times and all the feelings that come along with it. You may have to find a way to cope with them and get past the things that remind you of the ‘good old days’.
There are many times when you are going to have these feelings of old memories come rushing back. You will have the comfort of these memories as long as you are able to control the way that they make you feel. You want to be able to keep these memories in the back of your mind but you also want to be able to get past the bad feelings that some of these memories can leave for you.
If you are looking to try and forget the memories of your life that you had before your divorce, it may be an uphill battle. It can be pretty tough to wipe a shared lifetime out of your mind and heart. You do not want to forget the good times that you have endured especially if those memories included children. At the same time, you want to be able to look back on those times with happiness and not be disappointed or upset by them.
You should remember that you will have many new memories to make for yourself and your family. You want to take comfort in the fact that you still have a life to live and you want to make the most of the life that you have now. You want to go on and continue to enjoy the good things in life as much as you can. In time, you will find it easier to let go of the past and get started with the new beginning that you are about to go through.
The hardest thing that you can do is shut out the memories that you have created with someone that you loved even if now you are no longer in love with that person. You will want to grow with these memories and find ways to accept the fact that the past is gone. You now have to live for the future and what it holds in store for you. A divorce is not the end of the world should you decide to go that way. You will just have to find ways to move past the hurt and get to the good stuff that lies ahead.
How do you handle the memories associated with your passive aggressive boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? Have you aligned yourself with the fact that the “way it was” may not ever be again “the way it is”?
Filed under: coping, leaving the passive aggressive, memories, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive spouse, surviving passive aggressive relationships | Tagged: coping, memories of the passive aggressive, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |