Another Example Of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Most of the searches I get that lead to this blog are ones where people are looking for “examples of passive aggressive behavior”. There are common text book examples that you can get from Wikipedia, or some psychology article, what I give here are true life examples that I’m living every day.  LOL.

For instance, Yeah! After 2 years the passive aggressive boyfriend is working again. Yeah, he took a job where we’re actually losing money. Let me explain.

Yes, the passive aggressive boyfriend has been on unemployment all this time. There was a lot of debate last month about whether to keep funding the federal extensions or was that taking away the incentive to work? On top of that I’ve been reading articles about people who went to work, got laid off again and because their last job didn’t pay so much, they end up losing most of what they were getting paid before.

We had just ended one extension, moving on to one of the last extensions and I had asked what his plan was when the unemployment ran out.  Now don’t get me wrong. He’s sent out resumes, done the interview thing, just didn’t get hired like millions of other people. About this time he got interviewed and hired for his current job. He’s received a paycheck and a half. He’s working like crazy, supposed to be getting paid for mileage, and he’s making less than he was on unemployment.

Now, before you go judging me, I know some things are worth more than money. Even tho he comes home dragging, he feels useful again, he’s out with people, blah, blah, blah. That’s all good. I asked him if he’s tracked what he’s spending for gas vs. what they are paying him. I asked him if he’s tracked his hours so he has some idea of what they are actually paying him. Of course the answer to both is no, because he really doesn’t want to know and he doesn’t want me to know. I get all that. Him not tracking his stuff is the same as the passive aggressive that “forgot” to pay the electric bill.

If they really want to get people off of unemployment they should make them take a class to get it and then prove they are still in the class to keep getting it. The passive aggressive boyfriend has been off work for 2 yrs. I’ve told him, begged him, to take advantage of the training offered through EDD. He did join one group that taught him a bit about resumes, etc. but has never taken one class to update what he knows, or to move into what’s happening now vs. 2 yrs. ago. And he never followed through with the group he was in.

What he did was finally do something. Not something to his benefit, but something to appease me. It’s like when he/she says yes they will go with you to the concert but drag their heels so long that you’re late when you get there.

What is your passive aggressive spouse or partner doing to sabotage your efforts these days? What has he/she done just for “spite” as they say?

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3 Responses

  1. Does your boyfriend ever read these?

    • Hi Tim- How have you been?

      No, he doesn’t read them that I know of, although I do know he has googled my name and this blog shows up if he digs far enough. There are also several others with my name, so even if he saw it he may not be sure it’s me. I have to say that he has gotten rather touchy about the term passive aggressive, but I don’t know whether that’s because I call him on the behavior so often or what.

      One thing I will tell you is I haven’t said anything here that I haven’t talked to him about. I also try to make everything anonymous, so to speak. I never mention him by name, I don’t use my own name, and I don’t blow this blog up as big as I could because of that.

      What? Are you thinking “that poor guy with that bitch”? I actually do try to support him in his efforts. Just sometimes it would be nice if common sense took over, but then we all know common sense isn’t all that common.

  2. […] those of you who have been with me for awhile (thank you) you’ve read my posts about my passive aggressive BF’s new job, how we’re losing money for him to work, etc. Well, he’s managed now to be working […]

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