Passive aggressives can be so child-like, sometimes I feel like I should be a writing a “mommy blog”. LOL. It never ceases to amaze me that a man who stands almost 6 ft. and is 60 -something can be so much like having a son still at home. I find myself constantly asking these days “What’s the plan?” because if I don’t, in the usual passive aggressive way, he doesn’t have one, for anything.
I am trying to stay calmer and kinder these days. I also find myself asking “Why?” a lot and explaining that I am just trying to understand his thinking. The standard reply is “I guess I didn’t think it through”, or the really passive aggressive reply “I’m such an idiot”, as the head sinks low toward his chest in an effort to invoke some sympathy from me.
We finally got through figuring out where he stands with his unemployment. It took one week of mentioning it, and a second week of letting him know that I was coming up on the “explosive point”. Just like I used to warn my son when I had asked him to do something over and over to no avail. I used to be accused of being psychotic, LOL, so I started warning people before it got to that point that I felt I had given enough notice of what needed to be done. Before when I would come unglued, no one ever seemed to remember the 15 times I asked nicely before I got to that point. The warning system has worked quite well.
I finally, because he had just let this go on, asked him what was going on with him that he felt it was ok to act so irresponsibly toward taking care of finding out about this stuff. I explained that I understand about depression and how long he’s been out of work, etc. but since I hadn’t had any warning that the income was going to stop coming, the least he could do was take care of it.
My passive aggressive BF is the type that goes totally silent when you back him into a corner with no escape. He rarely raises his voice. It’s usually the clamming up and the conversation comes to a complete halt. This happens whether we’re discussing future plans for work, or future plans for us. I’ve been with the man almost 11 yrs. and to this day I don’t think he has a plan for his life, our life or much of anything else. I think in his passive aggressive child-like way, he figures I’ll just take care of everything.
How about you? I had 3 kids and ended up raising 4, one of which will never leave home. LOL. Do you ever feel like your passive aggressive is more of a child than a life partner?
Filed under: coping, Depression, examples of passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive spouse | Tagged: child-like passive aggressive, coping with passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |