Still More Examples of Passive Aggressive Behavior

One thing about having a passive aggressive boyfriend, I never run out of examples of passive aggressive behavior. LOL.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. Ours is pretty quiet now that the kids are gone and there are no longer little ones hunting eggs, etc. Our tradition for Easter dinner is always a ham with the bone in it for making pea soup afterward. The BF has been cooking the holiday dinners lately, although I didn’t expect him to do it for Easter as he hadn’t shown any interest in the shopping for it. I was pleasantly surprised.

As we are discussing the ham, what time to eat and how long it should cook for, he’s stating that it will take 4 hours for the size ham I bought. I explained to him that if he uses either a cooking bag or a covered roaster it will not take nearly that long. This is where the passive aggressive behavior comes in. He put the ham in a cooking bag, in a covered roaster, and still cooked it for 4 hours as he was determined to do all along. LOL. It was a bit over done, but it was still very good. I’m making the pea soup today.

Another example of the BF’s passive aggressive behavior has to do with my car. For the past couple of months or so he returns the car on empty, or almost empty and then I have to fill it before I can go anywhere. “I didn’t notice it was low on gas”. The famous excuse.

About 3 days ago I drove home from running some errands and let him know I hadn’t put gas in the car and it was pretty close to empty. For the last 3 days since I told him that, he has been using our other car. More passive aggressive behavior. We never use the other car, especially if going anywhere a ways away, because the gas mileage is terrible. He would rather use that car then put gas in my car and use it. This morning I have to finally run a couple of errands so I will be the one to put the gas in the car, as usual. I was going to just wait for him to get back and use the car he put gas in, but I don’t have the patience. I like to get stuff done early. LOL.

A note on the Passive Aggressive and responsibility. One final, final example of passive aggressive behavior.

The BF has been on unemployment for awhile now. I have asked him several times over the last couple of months to let me know in advance when it was running out so I could budget for the loss of income. He kept assuring me there were more checks coming. Through my persistence last week, we find out there is only one week left. I explained to him, depending on what extension was running out, he could possibly be eligible for 1 more federal extension.

Come Friday of last week, I asked him if he had ever gotten all that squared away. Of course “he forgot” and hadn’t done anything. Yesterday, being a Monday I asked him again. He had done nothing. I finally told him maybe I should take a break, let him pay the bills for a change and then he might realize that yes, indeed we do have bills. They do not just magically get paid. Maybe then he would decide to do something about his situation. The only problem with that is I can’t even get himĀ  to give me his bills for his medical to pay them, let alone have him responsible for the whole household.

I don’t want the “I forgot” excuse for why our electric didn’t get paid, or any of the other things that are important to live a half-way sustainable lifestyle. It amazes me sometimes how these passive aggressive spouses or partners just go through life without stepping up to the plate when it comes to responsibility. Of course I guess that’s what they have us for. LOL.

Feel free to leave your own examples of passive aggressive behavior below.

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5 Responses

  1. LOL I HAVE ONE FOR YA? WHEN WE LIVED IN WISCONSIN. WHEN IT GOT HOT HE WOULD TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING. NOW WE R IN ARIZONA AND IT IS LIKE 113 OR HIGHER SO HE LEAVES HIS WINDOW OPEN EVEN WHEN I HAVE ALL THE OTHERS UP AND THE AIR ON AS HIGH AS IT WILL GO TO GET COOLED OFF. HE KNOWS IT BOTHERS ME SO HE DOES IT EVERY SINGLE TIME. UGHHH

  2. I finally stopped dating passive aggressive men. However, I was unable to ever put up with their crap for very long and so I would end up getting rid of them in under a year usually. It took me awhile to work out what was going on with me constantly choosing passive aggressive partners.

    Out of curiosity, why would you want to stay with someone who is unreliable, unable to express their feelings, and unworthy of trust?

    I am especially curious because I see tons of self-help books about how to have a relationship with somebody passive aggressive and I just don’t get it. Isn’t it terribly annoying? Doesn’t it build a lot of resentment and contempt? Why not find someone else who is more well-adjusted?

    • anonymous- you are absolutely right! I used to say “Why would somebody want to stay with someone who obviously doesn’t want them?” It just always seemed so obsurd to me. Yet here a bunch of us are, with husbands or significant others, that appear not to want us, but at the same time they send us signals as if they couldn’t live without us! Isn’t that goofy? My PA boyfriend and I haven’t had sex in I can’t tell you how long, but if I was to let him go, trust me, he has no clue on where to go from here. The only reason I can think of, is that women are very emotional and they give their whole heart, at least the women that respond here. It’s not easy to think that “love doesn’t solve everything”.

  3. Also – does it count as passive aggressive if you have a blog about this person to discuss your issues with him?

    • anonymous- I have discussed over and over again. I don’t put hardly anything on here that hasn’t been talked about already between the BF and me. Like so many of the people that comment here, I do it because “discussing it with him” didn’t get me anywhere. If it did, I wouldn’t have this blog at all. LOL

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