Holidays, passive aggressives, and stress, what a combination, aye? And isn’t it amazing how they just seem to go together? I feel like singing it to the tune from Wizard of Oz that goes “Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” LOL. So we’ve got less than 10 days to go until Christmas (if you celebrate). Everyone still in one piece? Now take a deep breath, let it out very slowly, and relax. It may be the only minute you get.
The holidays bring about a stress like no other. It used to be this time of year brought about a little extra kindness from people that may not show it any other time, but this year, and actually last year also, I notice people are just as likely to knock you down as say “hello”. I don’t know if it’s the down economy or what, but God forbid someone actually say “excuse me” without sarcasm. LOL.
This is also the time of year the little children in us comes out and we still want everything to be perfect. This is the time of year we hope the relative that we haven’t seen since last year and couldn’t stand has had a whole personality make over. It’s also the time of year that we hope our passive aggressive spouses or partners also are going to change, at least for the holidays. That we’re going to laugh and hang lights together. That we’re going to get some of the affection we’ve done without all the rest of the year. That this year he/she finally “gets it” and we get something personal for Christmas instead of a Swiffer or a new tie. LOL.
One of the big things that ads to our holiday stress is our own unrealistic expectations. We see the romantic holiday movies wishing so hard that would be us and everybody lives happily ever after. I’m not saying we can’t hope, but at the same time, don’t allow yourself to get set up for disappointment. This time of year has a way of accentuating the problems that are already there. The only thing we can control is ourselves, and if your partner or spouse has been one way all year, don’t think just because it’s “the season” that things are going to change now. You may be one of the lucky ones and say he/she gets hit with a Christmas miracle, that’s great! Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen.
It’s up to us now to really stand guard over ourselves. The holiday season only comes around once a year, enjoy it with or without him/her if you have to. I hear you. “Yeah, it’s only once a year so you would think they could be different just for that time” but no, that’s not how it usually works, unless you’re one of the lucky ones who got a passive aggressive with a lot of spirit. Since most of them are passive aggressive because of traumas and abuses in childhood, that’s not usually too likely.
For many of us this can be the worst time for feeling alone, unloved and getting depressed, but we don’t have to let them do that to us. There are all kinds of things going on to celebrate the season. If you’ve got a friend you can drag along, even better. If not, go yourself and maybe you’ll make new friends. None of us got in a relationship to do things alone or without our partners, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Remember things that brought you joy in the past. Find things that are still going on or are similar. The holidays through the eyes of a child are wonderous, even before the presents.
Besides, what better way to screw up a passive aggressive than not letting them get to you this year? Holidays, passive aggressives, and stress, Oh My!
Filed under: abuse, causes, Christmas, coping, dealing with holidays, Depression, handling stress, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive spouse | Tagged: abuse, coping with a passive aggressive, coping with the passive aggressive, Depression, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse, passive aggressive stress, sanity |