It almost sounds about like the joke I made about a passive aggressive being
schizophrenic and having to put up with 2 of them. Unfortunately, SAD is a very real thing and not only can it affect them, but it can get to us also. For those who don’t know what SAD is, it stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, or in common terms, the “winter blues”. I didn’t realize how much it affected me until it rained 27 straight days here. I was just about a basket case. I never realized how much the lack of sunshine could affect someone’s psyche.
Being involved with a passive aggressive partner is tough enough, but if you or they are a victim of SAD it just makes matters worse. Pile on top of that the stress of the holidays, and…well you know.
Here are my tips for today to get through the season with your sanity.
1) If you’re in a place that is dark a lot or you don’t get out in the sun much, make sure you are supplementing your regular vitamin regiment with Vitamin D3. Did you know that a good percentage (over 50%) of adults and children are Vitamin D deficient? Getting the proper amount of vitamin D can help lift your spirits along with many other things that Vitamin D can do for you.
2) Bright-light therapy–which you can do by sitting in front of a
fluorescent light box that delivers an intensity of 10,000 lux–can
be as effective as antidepressant medication for mild and moderate
depression and can yield substantial relief for Seasonal Affective
Disorder. The brighter you keep your surroundings the less likely SAD is going to debilitate you. Makes sense.
3) Exercise. Even I had to grunt at this one, but I’m telling you, you need to put those little endorphins to work. If you can possibly start your day with an exercise routine of some sort, be it walking, exercising with tv, anything to get you moving and blood circulating, you’ll feel much better for the rest of the day. It not only gives you a mood lift, but an energy lift as well. If you’re like me, you need some kind of accountability or a friend to prod you on, so look for an exercise “buddy” or find a group that’s doing “mall walking” in your community, join a gym, something. At least most of this stuff you can do indoors no matter what the weather is like. If you ever get a chance to see what it does physiologically to the brain (google “brain and exercise” and watch a couple of the videos) you’ll be glad to get started.
4) Wear bright colors. This one I stole from Theresa Bochard at Beliefnet’s “Beyond Blue”. She’s right and I do it myself. During the winter we all tend to dress in the darkest colors, like we’re going to a funeral. I know how much better I feel just putting on a red lipstick (yes I do on occassion). Dress in something festive and warm instead of dark sweats and warm. Feel good about yourself! Celebrate. We have another day to figure it out, get it right, or just rejoice in it! LOL.
5) Get plenty of support around you. A lot of us don’t talk much to others about what we’re going through with our passive aggressive partners. Who wants to admit that we have no sex life? That the man/woman we married doesn’t seem to want anything to do with us physically anymore? We all need a safe place to go to be able to let it out. Whether you join a support group, a 12 step program, get a therapist, have a special friend you can share with, or even just coming here to vent, you need to feel like you’re not alone. You need to feel you can scream out loud if you want to. Like you have someone who will understand. And along with this comes…
6) Friends. Don’t isolate yourself. If he/she’s being an ass then leave them home, but see your friends. It all starts back when we were kids, and we fall for some person, and we just let our friends kind of fend for themselves. Don’t go there. These people are your friends for a reason. You enjoy their company, you have a good time. Enjoy it now. I don’t know about you, but this time of year gets me thinking about my friends anyway. Don’t let it be another obligation. Let it be something that brings joy into your life. If some people are too demanding than set your own limits without guilt. Your friendships should be a “good thing”.
If you’re living with a passive aggressive that has all the symptoms of SAD, and you have a hard time dealing with it yourself, it can seem overwhelming. You can do it! These are all simple little things that we can all do and incorporate into their lives as well. The idea behind this series of posts is for us to get out with our sanity and the least amount of discord. This will give you the strength to at least have a head start on making it through the season.
Filed under: Christmas, coping, dealing with holidays, Depression, guilt, handling stress, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive families, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive spouse | Tagged: coping with a passive aggressive, coping with passive aggressive behavior, holidays and the passive aggressive, living with a passive aggressive, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse, sanity, withholding sex |