As many of you know that have been with me for a little while, we are in the process of hunting for a new place to live. Boy, what a pain in the a**. LOL. We have to have something on a bottom floor because we have my mother with us who uses a walker. We need a place that allows pets (I have 2 cats, the dogsitter took the dog, which is ok) and allows smokers. I would prefer to buy because 1) you can’t write rent off on your taxes 2) I don’t really like dealing with rent raises, landlords, people living on top or below me. I want to deal directly with the owner of the home or duplex or whatever, vs. dealing with a Realtor because they are usually very closed minded. (I am one and I say that. LOL).
One day while discussing places with the passive aggressive BF, he said if we got an apartment we would have to get rid of some stuff. He had been attracted to this mobile home that had a small back yard area. I’m thinking, ok so we’ll just get rid of whatever equipment we kept for a yard. No big deal. Today I learned there’s much more to it than that.
What we actually need is a garage. We didn’t keep anything to do yard work. We need a place for his two workbenches and his 6 foot tall tool chest, which is fine. He built the workbenches from scratch, did a really good job on them, I just didn’t realize that was his priority on what kind of place we needed to live in. When did I find this out? When I met a dear lady over the phone that just about had us moved into a downstairs apartment, accepted my cats, and had me lined up to be assistant manager whenever she left on vacation. It sounded great! I thought he just wanted some kind of a little yard. This had a back patio. It was when I hung up after telling this lady we would be by this afternoon to look at the place that I finally learned where he was coming from.
We need a garage which makes our choices a little less. We need either a house or a duplex, or a condo on a ground floor that has a garage. I think I’m still going to look at this place as the lady said when I called her back to say we wouldn’t be coming after all, that the apartment was 1100 sq. ft. If the patio goes all the way across the back, it may be big enough for his stuff.
What I really was fascinated by while house hunting with the passive aggressive BF was the fact that he swears he will keep up the yard if we get a house. Now this is coming from the same man that almost cost us $2500.00 in fines from code enforcement in our old house for letting the outside go to “blight”. I found myself asking for a second time after looking at a house for rent where the landlord was angry that the last tenants didn’t keep up the yard, “Are you sure you’re going to do the yard work?”
“Oh yeah, yeah” he says without batting an eye.
Isn’t this one of the very things that passive aggressives are so good at? After 10 years with this man am I still so naive I’m going to fall for that? Why yes I am. If he doesn’t keep up with the yard, he will hear about how he promised until the cows come home! What do you think? Is this just another empty promise? I guess all I can do is keep the number of a good gardener handy, just in case. When you live with a passive aggressive for so long, I’m afraid you become a little cynical. LOL
Filed under: coping, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive spouse, psychology | Tagged: coping with a passive aggressive, living with a passive aggressive, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive communication, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |