I haven’t been able to keep from noticing how many characters are written for sitcoms, as well as movies with a passive aggressive nature. I guess when I think about it, if you weren’t living it it would be kind of funny. Maybe that’s another secret weapon along with humor for combatting the passive aggressive to keep ourselves from getting upset. If you were watching some of this stuff on television, happening to someone else, or in another family setting, would you find it funny, especially when it is sometimes so blatant?
The other day the passive aggressive BF announced he was going down to my mother’s room for a plate. (It’s a long story) I told him to call her and ask her if she wanted a piece of chicken for cold chicken that we had left over from a couple of nights ago, he could take it to her at the same time. He tells me he thought he would just ask her when he got there. I said “Why would you make two trips. Just call her now and ask her if she wants a piece and you can do it all at once.”
By his body language and the sighs I could tell he wasn’t happy with that idea, but he calls her. Instead of asking if she would like him to bring her a piece of chicken, he just asks her if she wants anything. She says no, she has a hardboiled egg she was going to eat and that was fine. When he got off the phone, I couldn’t hold back. “You are the most f*n stubborn son of a gun I have ever met! Why didn’t you just ask her if she wanted a piece of chicken? Do you think she knows what we have left over in the refrigerator?”
Giving me the slumping shoulders, like “I’m such a bad boy” routine they all know so well, one of those lamenting sighs, he calls her back and asks if she would like a piece of chicken. Sure enough, she would love one. She had no idea there was any left.
It reminds me of Frank and Marie, the parents on Everybody Loves Raymond. Why do we have to go through all that? Sometimes I just outright ask him what his path of logical thinking is so I can try to understand it (which there is no logic, just outright rebellion like he would if I was his mother).
Maybe I will try that as a coping skill for dealing with my passive aggressive BF for awhile. I know my own advice about treating it with humor is running a little thin these days. This is sort of the same idea, but it gives it a new twist. Maybe I should try writing a script. LOL
Filed under: coping, handling stress, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive parent, passive aggressive spouse, psychology | Tagged: coping skills, coping with a passive aggressive, games passive aggressives play, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive communication, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |