As much as I used to brag about how wonderful the PA boyfriend was about cooking dinner when we lived in our house, it became very apparent last night that he doesn’t feel the same about going to get dinner since we’ve been out of the house.
It’s been almost a month now and I am so tired of feeling like a babysitter to him and my mother, that yesterday I informed the passive aggressive boyfriend dinner was his responsibility last night. I was taking the night off.
These are the usual “ground rules” when I’m picking up dinner.
1) He’s usually not hungry before about 8 pm
2) We don’t generally get the same kind of food 2 nights in a row
3) Distance is no object
Somehow now that he was getting dinner, all the rules went out the window. In typical passive aggressive fashion it didn’t take him long to make it much more trouble than it was worth.
First he suggested hamburgers, which we had just had the night before. He looked so lost when I mentioned that to him, like he had shot his whole brain- wave activity on coming up with that. I didn’t want to complain, although I did mention trying to follow his logic on his choices. When I nixed that idea, he decided on Togo’s sandwiches. At least they have a variety to choose from. He said he was trying to come up with something “close by”. So much for “distance being no object”.
Then we have the rule about not being hungry much before 8:00. I couldn’t help but notice when it’s his turn to go get food it’s only 5:53 pm (which I actually prefer). I thought it was because he would rather miss part of the beginning of the race on TV than the end, but he said no, he was just hungry. As I sit here writing this, he may have been spurred on by the fact that he hadn’t bought his beer yet which he usually goes out to get in the late afternoon, even though he doesn’t drink any until 5 or so, sort of like a security blanket. Once he’s picked it up, he knows it’s there.
Anyone involved with a passive aggressive knows, if they don’t want to do something they will make it as difficult for every one around them as they can. All my “night off” did for me was tick me off. It was so much work having him go for dinner, that he actually accomplished his goal. I won’t ask him to do it again. Isn’t that what they strive for?
Filed under: abuse, coping, handling stress, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive spouse, psychology | Tagged: coping with a passive aggressive, coping with passive aggressive behavior, games passive aggressives play, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |