If you’ve been following along with me for a little while, you know that my Passive aggressive boyfriend and I have had to leave our home and right now our life is in a state of flux. For me, it just means more than ever, all you can do is take one day at a time and whittle through the mire one step at a time.
We’re doing ok. We’re luckier than a lot in the way that we do have some income coming in and I do have a background in quite a few things where I not only should be making a decent living but able to even get ahead of the game. I feel like it’s just a matter of getting back to basics and getting my mindset back to that of a positive, empowered entrepreneur.
What I’m having a problem with is that my passive aggressive boyfriend is like having an extra child to take care of vs. being a partner I can look to to take care of anything, let alone me. My patience is really beginning to wear as I cannot even get him to make a simple decision, let alone make any big decision or take any action.
One of the problems with a passive aggressive is they have not been allowed to express themselves when they were younger and as a way of getting even with the world for that, later in life they have either forgot how to express their feelings of flat refuse. For those who have lived with a passive aggressive for quite awhile, we know that decisions are often left up to us because 1) they cannot be reponsible enough to take care of things like bills, etc. and 2) many don’t want to make any major decisions, they just want to blame us when a decision we’ve made may not turn out as planned.
For those of you who are fairly new to this game, unless you are pretty controlling and feel better when you handle everything yourself, there comes a point where you would like, even if it’s just for a little while, to have the passive aggressive spouse or partner take a turn in looking after you. It’s possible that will never happen.
If you push responsibility on the passive aggressive spouse when they don’t want it, they will most surely as I’m writing this, find a way to screw it up so you have to take back what ever responsibility you gave them. Whether it’s paying bills, picking up the kids from school, even making their own lunch for work, if they don’t want it in the end you will end up being the one who’s sorriest.
After 10 years I’m tired. I’m tired of being the one to take care of everything. I’m tired of having a little kid tugging at my skirt, and I’m tired of always coming up with the answers to where and how we’re going to live, to what we’re having for dinner. There are times I wonder if we will come through this together or not. While I realize hard times split many couples up, the ones that support each other and work together make it through stronger and better than ever. I don’t think that can happen when you’re each coming from different places in your maturity level.
Filed under: abuse, causes, coping, handling stress, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive parent, passive aggressive spouse, personality disorders, psychology | Tagged: abuse, behaviour problems, coping with a passive aggressive, dealing with passive aggressive peopl, living with a passive aggressive, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive games, passive aggressive personality, passive aggressive spouse |