Passive Aggressive People=Stress

I’m in the process of sorting, packing, giving away, and throwing away stuff that I have had or accumulated for over 20 years because we have to move. This in itself is stressful enough as I have figured out that I tend to be a hoarder, rather than just a pack rat. Add to that living in a house of passive aggressive people, and we are talking big time stress.

Living with a passive aggressive spouse  or partner is usually stressful. It’s just the nature of the beast, but when you really need to get things done and they just hand you lip service it can get really bad. So as a reminder to me, and hopefully helpful to you, I thought I would talk a bit about “Stress Management”.

Your  daily program to Stress management

 I think that it is how we work, live, or even relax, that  triggers stress, not to mention the people we spend time with. Have you ever been stressed even when you’re well relaxed and bored? I know I have.

 Since some kind of stress is unavoidable in life,  even if we didn’t live with a passive aggressive, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents. We need to decrease our negative reactions to stress for our own well-being. Here are some of
the things that can be done by just remembering them, since life is
basically a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or eating
breakfast. 

Managing time

This is one I really need to work on. Time management skills can allow you more time with your family and friends and possibly increase your performance and productivity. This definitely will help
reduce your stress.

To improve your time management:

· Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling  time for yourself.  Time for yourself is so important.
· Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family,
  and leisure time.
· Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency.
  Redirect your time to those activities that are important and
  meaningful to you.
· Manage your commitments by not over- or under committing.  Don’t commit to what is not important to you.
· Deal with procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large
  projects into smaller ones, and setting short-term deadlines.
· Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like.

Build healthy coping strategies

It is important that you identify your coping strategies. One way to
do this is by recording the stressful event, your reaction, and how
you cope in a stress journal. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s worth mentioning again. With this information, you can work to
change unhealthy coping strategies into healthy ones-those that help
 you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

Changing thinking

When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear,
insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, and a sense of
worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger the body’s
stress, just as an actual threat does. Dealing with your negative
thoughts and how you see things can help reduce stress.

· Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help  eliminate stress.
· Disproving irrational thoughts helps you to avoid exaggerating the
  negative thought, anticipating the worst, and interpreting an event
  incorrectly.
· Problem solving helps you identify all aspects of a stressful event
  and find ways to deal with it.
· Changing your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. Use the assertiveness ladder  to improve your communication style.

Lifestyle

Some behaviors and lifestyle choices affect your stress level. They
may not cause stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways
your body seeks relief from stress. Try to:

· Balance personal, work, and family needs and obligations.
· Have a sense of purpose in life.
· Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of
  the day while you are sleeping.
· Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.
· Get moderate exercise throughout the week.
· Limit your consumption of alcohol.
· Don’t smoke.

Now obviously not all of the above are neccessarily easy. If they were I would be refreshed from plenty of sleep, slender and not smoking as I write this. LOL.

Social support

Social support is a major factor in how we experience stress. Social
support is the positive support you receive from family, friends,
and the community. It is the knowledge that you are cared for, loved,
esteemed, and valued. More and more research indicates a strong
relationship between social support and better mental and physical
health.

Whether you’re the mail guy, the CEO, the average working parent, or living with passive aggressive people in your life, stress is one unwanted visitor you would love to boot out of your homes, and especially from your life. Sometimes that includes getting rid of the source.

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