I reminded him more than once yesterday. “Have the kids called?”
“Are you going to call the kids?”
“I guess I could. I hadn’t thought about it.”
“Did the kids ever call?”
I’m sure it’s just turned into a game now where the kids wait to see if he might call them instead of them always calling him. They used to always call on the holidays. I’m sorry kids. I can lead him to water but I can’t make him drink.
This is something totally in his control, yet he chooses to be an a**hole. I realize he’s a passive aggressive, but still… Instead of letting the kids know he’s thinking of them he’d rather cut off his right arm. How ridiculous is that? Sometimes I wonder if he’s like the small child who doesn’t get enough attention, so they start getting in trouble all the time. They feel that even bad attention is better than no attention at all. Even though almost every time his son calls now it’s to rant about his father never calling or checking on him, the passive aggressive BF wins, because he didn’t initiate the call.
There’s really no excuse why he couldn’t have called yesterday and given his son the one little scrap of love he’s begging for. I get so angry and it’s so unimaginable for me. There is no way I would have let a holiday go by without being in touch with my girls, and they both had to work. It wasn’t like they were gathered at one or the other’s house and I could call and talk to everyone right there.
When these things happen, I think about just doing the calling myself, but it’s not me they’re wanting so badly to hear from. It’s him. I was always sorry I didn’t initiate more contact between him and his mother before she died, but that’s not really my job. Once again, it’s him she really wanted to hear from, but at least if I had called she would have heard something about him. It’s also pretty hard for him to turn the phone away if I’m handing it to him unless he has the excuse that he’s cooking.
His son is right. He really needs to suck it up and be a man and fix what’s going on instead of hiding from it. Unfortunately, he probably never will just like our relationship. It just keeps going along, status quo. No intimacy, nothing deeper than sports to talk about.
Filed under: abuse, coping, dealing with holidays, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive parent, passive aggressive spouse, personality disorders, self esteem | Tagged: abuse, behaviour problems, coping with a passive aggressive, dealing with passive aggressive peopl, hidden feelings, holidays and the passive aggressive, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive communication, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |