In my last post I told you how my passive aggressive BF’s son called and ranted to me over the phone about his father for over an hour. One of the phrases he kept using was “My dad needs to step up and get his head out of the sand.”
After yesterday I’ve been thinking about that a lot.
Yesterday I had to go to court for an eviction. (Long story, but it should have never taken place). I have been putting the case together for days and was at the courthouse by 8:15 yesterday morning. While my PA BF has made dinner the last couple of nites so I could work right through, he hasn’t asked any questions, hasn’t offered to help at all, and yesterday morning didn’t even wake up to say “Good luck”, let alone offer to go to court with me.
I told a couple close friends what was going on as far as having to go to court and thank God for their support. They both checked on me continuously, asked how it was going, asked how I was going to present my case, (sort of like a practice run) and offered to go to court. That’s the kind of stuff that should have come from my BF.
It’s like 1)he doesn’t feel responsible for any of it 2)it doesn’t concern him at all 3) I’ll just take care of everything like I always do. So yeah, sticking his head in the sand sort of fits.
I also asked him yesterday if he ever called his son back after his son talked to me Monday night. Up to that point he never even asked about the conversation, what his son had to say, or anything. It’s really hard for me to understand how a parent could be like that. It’s so different with me and my kids. He said no he hadn’t called him and that was the end of that.
I know he doesn’t call his son because his son makes him feel bad about never calling or seeing him. I can’t believe these two can’t see what a vicious cycle this is. I’m also not sure if the BF is passive aggressively punishing his son by not calling. The BF says all his son wants to do is rant and that although the BF has apologized on more than one occasion, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Well of course it’s not enough and it doesn’t seem very sincere if you just turn around and do the same things to hurt someone all over again.
I feel bad for the BF’s son as he has a lot of rage and hurt inside. At least I know what I’m dealing with and although I don’t like it at times and at times the reactions still surprise me, I understand where it comes from and know I can’t expect anymore from him.
Filed under: abuse, alcoholic, causes, coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive parent, passive aggressive spouse, personality disorders, psychology, trust | Tagged: abuse, coping with a passive aggressive, coping with passive aggressive behavior, covert abuse, games passive aggressives play, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive personality, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse |