Of all the times to have to be hunting for a job, this time and this economy is surely not the best. Yesterday on the news they said there were 60,000 more people being laid off. While the numbers are daunting that is no reason not to look. It’s a reason to be more aggressive than passive.
The passive aggressive BF has been out of work since July, I think. He went yesterday to actually turn in a resume at a place that’s hiring. That’s the first time he’s actually done something outside of sitting on the computer to be pro-active. I asked him a couple of weeks ago when his unemployment was running out. He’s figuring February. I don’t know if because of the state of the job market now, it will be harder to get an extension or easier.
This is an example of the passive aggressive looking for work.
Sit in front of the computer checking job sites, etc. never applying for anything different than he’s always done, even tho he can do other things. Apply to several places online, but never follow up with any kind of phone call. Apply to several places online, but never get up and go in person. Apply to several places online, but uses the home phone number first instead of his cell number. The home phone, the minute you answer it sounds as if the other person got a wrong number so many times they just hang up. Leave the cell phone off.
Our local paper has a nice insert on Sundays that includes tips for jobhunters and the classified ads. Most the classified ads for jobs in our area only come out on the weekends. For the last 2 or 3 weeks, instead of holding that section out and going through it, or even holding it out for my son to look through it, he’s buried it to get thrown out with the rest of the paper. I’ve pulled it twice. Oh did I mention it also lists job fairs in the area?
While I know he feels bad that he is not working, his actions sure point in the direction of he doesn’t want to go back to work, which we cannot afford and he knows it. One day during a nap, I had an awful nitemare that I was yelling at him for not doing anything. He did go get a haircut without me telling him it was time, so that’s a step in the right direction. I wonder if I said something in my sleep. LOL.
Yesterday I brought up going into business for himself. He’s excellent with numbers and there are various sections of the finance field that are doing quite well right now. I have all the stuff, he can learn it right here at home in a couple of days. Now we’ll see whether it’s more painful for him to try something new, or to actually be more aggressive about his job search.
Once again the typical passive aggressive sending mixed signals and still in his own way.
Filed under: avoidant personality disorder, coping, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive job hunting, passive aggressive spouse, personality disorders | Tagged: coping skills, coping with passive aggressive behavior, games passive aggressives play, mental health, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive job hunting, passive aggressive relationships, personality disorders |