Christmas With The Passive Aggressive

 friendsFor many of us, this is already a stressful time of year dealing with the obligations, the Christmas shopping and the dysfunctional families.  Add a little passive aggressive behavior and it’s no wonder we go nuts!

As I’ve gotten older I’m not quite as stressed as I used to be. I think a good part of that is I’m just finally getting the true meaning of Christmas vs. all the “earthly plane stuff”. I’ve also learned in old age that nothing is neither “easy” or “perfect”.  Point of view really can make  a difference.

So I spent a couple hours on the internet early yesterday morning looking for a jello dish my mother always made this time a year as I was growing up. She had told my sister and I years ago that she had lost the recipe. It’s been long enough now that neither my mother nor I could remember for sure how to make it, thus the reason for my search. I saw many dishes with the same name, but none of them seemed to fit what I remembered. When my mother got up yesterday morning, I asked her if she could remember if she used cool whip. She asked me why I didn’t just go get the recipe out of her blue notebook. Sure enough, there it was. Okay so I only wasted a few precious hours while I could have been doing something else, like posting to my blogs. LOL.

We finally got our Christmas tree yesterday. It’s so precious. We decided this year to just get a small one to set on top of the TV instead of the humungous ones we usually get. It’s so perfectly shaped, I just fell in love with it! I’ve been ready for a tree for awhile and we were going to go get it Sunday, but that’s football day. Then Monday the passive aggressive boyfriend decided it was getting to late, even though I knew exactly where we were going to get it which was not too far from the house. It was going to be dark soon. So finally yesterday we got it. I had asked him if he just wanted me to pick it up because he likes to either stick it in the trunk and have the lid closing on it, or tie it to the top of the car but see how many branches he can break while he’s doing it. He’s also never ready when I am, but he decided he would like to go. Oh well, all’s well that ends well.

He says he’ll cook again for Christmas, so I can forgive him just about anything! I’ve had a hard time deciding what to get him for Christmas this year. Of course when I ask him he gives me this “Oh I don’t need anything. I’m not important”. What’s that about insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? LOL. After all these years you would think I would know better.


2 Responses

  1. Sometimes we need to re-evaluate these toxic relationships and make a decision… Can we limit our level of involvement? can we reduce our emotional exposure to these encounters? How can we change inside to cope with the challenge of an unchangeable someone else?

    This post brings up some great opportunities for discussion!

    -James T.
    Stress Management, Communications and Relationship Coach

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