I can forgive him almost anything today because today he’s cooking Thanksgiving dinner. He does a wonderful job. He takes great pride in his cooking and (much better than I) is great at getting everything to the table hot and at the same time. His timing is incredible! Of course, when it’s time for everything to come together even his best friends know not to be anywhere near him until he needs people to carry everything to the table. It is HIS kitchen.
Getting to this point hasn’t exactly been a picnic, but that’s ok. We’ve been together long enough I know what to expect. Yesterday was the maximum push for cleaning before company shows up today. He did go to the store for beer and champagne, but I had mentioned about getting everything together to be sure we had everything first. Sure enough, no potatoes. Since he went to the store early, I’ll be going for potatoes this morning.
He basically checked the sports on TV most of the day yesterday. He would come out to the kitchen every once in awhile, but when he did I had something for him to do, so he gave that up. Most the time with the passive aggressive BF his theory I’m sure is, “out of site out of mind”.
I think that’s why he insists on watching TV in the garage most of the time. He figures if I don’t see him
- I won’t know all he’s doing is watching TV
- I won’t ask what his “plan” for the day is
- I won’t ask him to do anything.
I must say it’s usually a pretty good plan, altho now I ask him his plan before he gets dressed, so he needs to learn to move faster. LOL.
Yesterday as I was cleaning the God-awful mess in our dining room, I had the cd player blasting. I admit it was loud. My passive aggressive mother comes out to the kitchen to get something to eat and asked if I had the music loud enough. In her room where she watches TV etc. she couldn’t even hear the music. It wasn’t until she got in the hall right outside the kitchen doorway that she could even hear it. I told her she had two choices:
- Go back to her room and leave me alone
- Take over the cleaning and the pies and she could either play music or not, whichever she would like.
Needless to say, she went back to her room. Later when she came out she was wondering around in the way that she does. I asked her if something was wrong and in her best passive aggressive voice says “oh nothing”. I didn’t even bother to pursue it.
But for today everything is wonderful. I am thankful I will have my children home for dinner (at least 2 out of 3), family and friends to share with. We have a roof over our heads, at least temporarily, and by the end of the day, a very full tummy to sleep on. LOL. God Bless you all and may this day be a day of counting blessings, even when they seem few.
Filed under: coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders | Tagged: dysfunctional family, mental health, passive aggressive holidays, Thanksgiving day |