If you think living with a passive aggressive is hard normally, the holidays may really send you over the edge, especially if you get stressed and hope for a little help.
Believe it or not, we’re going to have Thanksgiving dinner on this table. My oldest daughter will come up from central California and I just stopped in the middle of this to invite a single friend who has no family, so he’ll be here. There’s the passive passive aggressive BF, my aggressive passive aggressive mother, my middle daughter, and me. I don’t know yet if my DSon and his girlfriend will be with us or not. Now if I was silly enough to leave this to my BF, I would be sorely disappointed come Thanksgiving Day. Even tho he watches ESPN all day and I work about 12 hours a day on the computer, this would definitely lead to disaster.
If you live with a passive aggressive and you are counting on them for anything important to you, when you’re upset because it isn’t done or because it’s done in such a way you wonder what they used for “brain power”, you only have yourself to blame. No, this year is not going to be different. No, they haven’t miraculously changed since last Thanksgiving, and no it’s not going to get done any more this year than it has in the past. They may get some things done they didn’t do before, but then they just find a different way to mess you up.
If you live with a passive aggressive, before you delegate tasks for the holidays make sure they are small ones that you won’t really care if they get done or not. I will end up doing all the dining room myself, and that’s okay with me. Luckily my passive aggressive lives on praise for his culinary prowess, so he will cook Thanksgiving dinner and he does a wonderful job. I’ll make the pies and then the rest is his. I can live with this. For me, this is a good trade. Not only that, but he usually serves dinner on time, which I rarely do. LOL.
If you want to save yourself a lot of stress during the holiday season, do the important things yourself or delegate to people you know will get things done. Being a victim because you once again trusted him/her to do important things you knew they wouldn’t and then whining about it afterward is not the way to get through this time of year with any fond memories.
Definition of Insanity- Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.
Filed under: abuse, coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders, trust | Tagged: holiday stress, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive spouse, surviving the holidays |