Looking At My Own Passive Aggressiveness

I am chronically late. One of the first things I read about being chronically late is that it meant I didn’t respect anyone else’s time. I felt bad about that. I do respect other people. I just get started on something and time flies by and before you know it, I haven’t allowed enough time to get ready, or for travel, or something. Sometimes I’m late because, while I can be home for days at a time when the phone will never ring, the one time I’m going somewhere will be when my oldest daughter calls and needs to talk. She lives out of town and the moments she really opens up are rare, so at those times there is nothing more important to me than what she has to say.

As I have been studying more and more about the passive aggressive, more and more I am finding that being late is a passive aggressive behavior. Is that my passive aggression coming out? I’m starting to wonder.

It is true that when I was working outside the home, it took me at least 2 hours to get ready and I was still usually late, altho I did try to get better about it. On my days off when I was going somewhere, I noticed it took me a lot less time. Was I rebelling? It felt like I was doing the same routine to get ready that I always did.

My BF, as passive aggressive as he is, is always early. I think he’s more early since being with me than he used to be. I try to meet him in the middle and, while I’m rarely early, I do try to be on time when we’re going somewhere together. Altho if it’s not a set time, he does end up waiting on me. We’ve gotten quite the routine worked out, where he lets me shower first, etc. because it takes me longer to get ready to go. That way he’s not standing around stressing out because he’s ready and I’m not. We discuss what time we want to leave, and altho he’s too passive for the “bus” to leave without me, I’ve really tried to be better about “respecting his time” and being somewhere when we’re supposed to be.

They say all of us have some passive aggressive traits if for no other reason than self-preservation. I wonder how many other passive aggressive traits I have that I don’t realize. I’m sure there are a few. Then there are the times when I am behaving totally passive aggressive and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing. LOL. You too?


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