Yeah, sort of like “Sleeping With The Enemy”. We are now in the midst of the “cover wars”. This is the latest passive aggressive move to get even with me, I guess, for who knows what.
It turns out my passive aggressive BF is much more “aggressive” in his sleep than when he’s awake. LOL. When it comes to sleeping together, things haven’t been going real well for quite a while now.
It started with him constantly facing my way for most of the nite. I cannot and have never been able to sleep “face to face”. He got to the point that even if he got up in the night to go to the bathroom, came back to bed and I would be facing his way, he would still get in bed and face me. Usually if I’m facing his way it’s because I’ve laid so long the other way, that now that side hurts and I have to turn over. Him doing this would wake me up right away, and no matter what time it was, I would just go ahead and get out of bed.
Step 2 came when I made him aware of what he was doing and he quit. Then all of a sudden I would wake up to him swearing in the middle of the nite. I guess I was moving around too much. The first nite he did it it made me so mad, we had quite the discussion. I told him all he ever has to do is nudge me a little and ask me to move over. It’s really easy. The next nite he woke me up again swearing. I swore to move out of the bedroom if at all possible the next day. Told him if he put slats in the bed I’d be less likely to “roll” his way. Bought the slats. Standing by the front door for a couple of months now.
Step 3. Instead of waking me up swearing at me, he got where he would just vigorously take his feet and sweep my feet back to my side of the bed. I’m one of those that always needs to be touching, even if it’s only the feet. I’ve been trying to break that habit since we’re not exactly “close” anymore, but it’s a little easier said than done. That went on for a few nites and now we move to step 4, and the current status of sleeping with a passive aggressive BF.
We have been in the midst of the “cover wars” for awhile now. I wake up to him pulling all the covers off me. He isn’t subtle about it either. Sometimes I wake up and just hold on until it gets a reaction out of him. Other times I wake up and tell him he’s already got all the covers on the floor beside him. Quit pulling! Either way, the bottom line usually ends up the same. I just go ahead and get up and start my day. It may be 3:00 am, it may be 4. It’s just easier to get up than try and calm my mind down to go back to sleep.
If you’re wondering why I haven’t just moved out of the bedroom, first of all he says he doesn’t want that, and actually I don’t either. In this house right now, there’s really no where else to go. I still have two kids out of three living here, plus my mother. So I will live with this and make adjustments until phase 5 comes along.
Intimacy? What the heck is that? LOL
Filed under: abuse, coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders | Tagged: passive aggressive behavior, sleep deprivation, sleeping with the enemy |