A reminder of part of the definition of a passive aggressive:
“People with this disorder resent responsibility and show it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. Procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness are commonly used to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do.”
That pretty much sums up “trash day” around our house. The trash men come every Tues. It can be 6am or 3pm. Whenever it is, you only have one chance to have it out there so they can take it, just like everywhere else. Advisedly, the best thing to do is take it out as soon as you get home from work on Monday nite.
When the passive aggressive BF and I got together so many years ago, one of the things we discussed was the division of the chores around the house. He’s old fashioned and old enough, he believes he should do the “man stuff” and I should do the “woman stuff”. That’s pretty much okay with me. He does the yardwork, house repair and trash. That’s my list of “man stuff”. Since then the house has a ton of defferred maintance, the yard is a constant fight, and the trash gets taken out by him on occassion. (Like a special occassion. LOL).
Tuesdays are his first day off and he likes to sleep in. He also preferrs to put the trash out on Tues. vs. doing it before he sits down to relax Mon. nite after work. It’s kind of hard to have it both ways, so a good percentage of the time it’s me who puts out the trash early Tues. morning. Yesterday it ticked me off because I had mentioned it on Monday night and had rounded up the trash and recycling from inside the house, but we have too many people living here to let it go. I didn’t put it out on a Tues. about 4 weeks ago, but it’s me who can’t get all the trash into the can when I do that, so it’s sorta like cutting my own throat. It helps him be more vigilant for a couple of weeks, but that’s about as long as it lasts.
This one I have not come up with a gameplan yet to keep me from getting myself upset. (If you have read any of my previous posts, I usually have come up with a way to work around his passive aggressive behavior). I’ll have to keep thinking. Anyway, today it will be about the front yard again. Now the homeowner’s insurance won’t renew our policy because I haven’t sent them pics showing the work we’ve done to improve the property. After he mows the front yard I will go around taking pics from the best possible angles to make it look like their “laundry list” was completed. I’m expecting the City back any day now.
Filed under: coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders | Tagged: coping, definition of passive aggressive, living with a passive aggressive, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders |