This is actually the third look I’ve had into a passive aggressive in retirement. LOL. My mother has been retired for 10 yrs. now, and she’s pretty passive aggressive, along with aggressive, in her own right. She does the “not so innocent” comment thing, and then when you call her out on it, she attacks. A little different than the passive aggressive BF.
The second look I got was when the BF was out of work for almost 3 yrs. That was pretty interesting. That was when I realized how much alike my mother and my BF are. They say as women, we have a tendency to get involved with men that are like our fathers. I know Freud had a name for it. I just can’t think of it right now. And for me, that’s definitely true, altho I didn’t realize it at the time we started seeing each other. The BF and my father are enough alike, and like enough of the same things, my father would have loved him if he would have known him.
The BF is back to work now after 18 days on vacation (look #3). The front yard never got touched (see previous post on us vs. City). Never again touched the window trim he started sanding, getting ready to paint when he first started his vacation. I have no petdoor or frame on the kitchen door, which he also took apart to fix. Now he will be too tired to fix those things, so while the rest of California prays for rain (We’re in a draught) I am hoping it doesn’t.
We got him a satellite radio for Father’s Day. It was supposed to be so easy. Just plug it into your cigarette lighter and “Viola” it works! Not. We have pretty old cars and one of the stipulations to a satellite radio is your regular radio has to work. Daughter didn’t tell me that. Off we go to buy a new car radio. It was totally amazing how early this man gets up, showers and is ready to go when it’s something he wants vs. like, getting yard work done before it’s in the hottest part of the day. LOL.
We got the radio and a wiring harness. Just plug in the new radio and “voila”! It works. Wrong again. So now it’s time for him to go back to work and the way he drags himself in the door cuz he’s so dog tired after work, I figure he won’t touch it again until his next day off. Not only did he come home with a part he needed that he stopped and got after work (can’t ever stop at the store. too tired) but he’s rarin’ to go to put it together. Amazing.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s the first time I’ve seen him really excited about anything in a really long time. For me, it’s kind of bittersweet though. I see what he actually can do when he wants to, but it also accentuates his true passive aggressive nature when it comes to stuff that needs to be done around the house.
Another day, another lesson in living with a passive aggressive.
Filed under: causes, coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders | Tagged: Freud, mental health, passive aggressive nature, personality disorders |