He told me in advance he was taking vacation. I thought I would be caught up with stuff and life would be good by then, so I didn’t think much more about it. He came home Monday early because they closed early for Memorial Day. Tues. morning when he got up it hit me. “OMG, the BF is on vacation!”
Not only that but due to his foresight and abilities, 2 wks. turned in to 18 days. I think by the end, I’ll probably know a lot more about personality disorders because I’ll be looking to find out what’s wrong with me! LOL. (Nothing new there. That is the usual progression of things when you live with a passive aggressive).
We’ve already played two of his favorite games. The first one is watching TV in the garage most of the day and saying when I come out “Oh I just sat down. I’ve been so busy. I just took a break”.
The second is his “Wait till Ladybeams goes crazy before I turn on the light”. (Written about in a previous post). Now that he’s home all day it’s a little harder for me to get a headstart on him here. I’d have to turn the light on really early to take the wind out of his sails on this one. For today I just tried to ignore it. Only 17 days to go.
I’m supposed to be booking somewhere for us to go and do during this time off. After all, I am a Travel Agent. We also have a so-to-speak “timeshare” to take advantage of. Unfortunately I never plan far enough in advance to get the places I want, so sometimes we settle for where we can go. This year the place I want to go has openings, with twin beds. This idea sounds great to me! I might actually get some sleep and I won’t have to worry about disturbing him.
I think for him this is the “first degree of separation”. While a passive aggressive cannot be intimate and emotionally connected with anyone, they think they are. Even tho we’re “kissin’ like cousins” (earlier post) he doesn’t feel the distance like I do or you would. He hasn’t even noticed my emotional retreat, but now that there might be physical distance he starts to become afraid. With trust already being an issue with the passive aggressive, this becomes exaggerated.
What’s hard is trying to fullfill his need and realizing even if we sleep in the same bed we’re still miles apart. He says all the right things, making it seem like if we sleep in twin beds it’s more than he can bare not to touch me. Now we sleep together every night in a Queen size bed (not a King) and we don’t touch at all. Well, I take that back. I still reach out to him in my sleep with my feet, but usually it just bothers him.
Only 16 days to go. Oh my gosh, his retirement scares me.
Filed under: coping, hidden feelings, mental health, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, personality disorders, trust | Tagged: coping with passive aggressive behavior, mental health, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive spouse, personality disorders |