Sorry everyone. I thought I had posted this, but I guess I just saved it as a draft. I don’t usually go so long with publishing here. LOL.
All I’ve been thinking about since I ran into this article last weekend in the Sunday USA Today is “Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water…” I was reading an article about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or Syndrome). Like most people I thought it applied mostly to people in the military. Wrong. Come to find out, and I feel foolish as I say this out loud that I hadn’t thought of it sooner, it can happen to anyone who has been through any kind of traumatic experience. The only time I had been exposed to this diagnosis was when the father of my kids and I went to marriage counseling and he was diagnosed. I should have had a clue when he told me he had signed up and done 3 tours of active duty in Viet Nam that he was a little “off”, but for as intelligent as I may think I am, sometimes I can be a pretty slow study. LOL.
Outside of the military you would think of this as being associated with things like violent crimes, like rape, etc. What caught my attention was that almost any terrifying event can trigger it, including physical or sexual abuse, or a perceived serious threat to self or others. To be diagnosed according to the DSM (diagnosis guide book) 2 things have to be present.
DSM-IV-TR Criteria for PTSD
1. The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others.
2. The person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.
Now as we each learn as much as our passive aggressives will let us regarding their past, their growing up years, etc. , that many passive aggressive people have experienced these 2 things. In fact, supposedly in the United States, 60% of men and 50% of women experience a traumatic event during their lifetimes. I can’t believe it’s not more, but these numbers are from the people “in the know”. LOL.
So for instance, my passive aggressive boyfriend was physically abused as a kid, in which I’m sure at times he “feared for his life” and felt completely “helpless”. Then he went to Viet Nam. Feared for his life and the lives of his buddies, saw many of them die, felt “intense fear, helplessness and horror”.
The article goes on to say symptoms may include:
* Having flashbacks, nightmares, bad memories or hallucinations. (I think bad memories are a given. Don’t we all have some bad memories of something?)
* Trying not to think about the trauma or avoiding people who remind them of it. Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma; (Does your passive aggressive try to avoid their parent(s) or family functions?)
* Not being able to recall parts of the event
*Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities; Not interested in life events
* Feeling emotionally numb or detached from others. Feeling of estrangement. Restricted range of affect (for example, unable to have loving feelings); (Sounds so much like the passive aggressive spouse/boyfriend/partner).
* Having trouble sleeping
* Being irritable, angry or overly jumpy (This one sound familiar? Sudden outbursts, or jumps to the ceiling every time there is an unusual noise?)
* Being hypervigilant
These symptoms will usually persist for more than a month, which some of them we’ve been living with for years! Once again I cannot believe how many disorders can be all wrapped into one passive aggressive personality.
I’m curious as to what you think? Are you dealing with a lot of this, or nothing other than parents neglect or abuse ever happened to your PA? I’ll tell ya, mine just keeps batting a thousand. LOL
Filed under: avoidant personality disorder, causes, coping, Depression, examples of passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive families, passive aggressive parent, passive aggressive spouse, personality disorders, veterans | Tagged: abuse, causes of personality disorders, dealing with passive aggressive peopl, passive aggressive boyfriend, passive aggressive relationships, passive aggressive spouse, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, PTSD | 2 Comments »