Passive Aggression Alive and Well Living At My House

Thanks to all of you out there for your comments, yes we have quite a bit in common. Passive aggression is still alive and well living at my house.

Don’t you ever get tired of always having to be the “grown up”? Ever feel like you would like the passive aggressive to take care of you for a change? Or what about “he’s/she’s turned me into such a nag!”

This is one of those days for me. LOL.

Over the last 10 yrs. I’ve probably learned to play as passive aggressively as anyone. Some of the stuff I find rather humorous like the “toilet paper wars” where when the toilet paper is getting to the bottom of the roll, each one uses less and less till someone has to change it.

Or the passive aggressive blind eye to the trash in the house. When my BF and I got together, he informed me taking out the trash was the “man’s job” and it was his job to take the cans out to the street every week. Somewhere since then, I think a little resentment has been brewing. Now the trash in the kitchen overflows, the trash in his bathroom overflows. Most of the time I will just go ahead and take it out, but every once in awhile when I feel it’s not just my job, I dig in my heels and pull the bag up a little more to fit more trash in there, until he takes it out. Sometimes he’ll eventually get around to it, but then gets even by not putting a new bag in. Such is my life. LOL.

All this goes on without any communication on either part.

Then stuff comes along I don’t find quite so humorous. As I stated here before, the BF has finally gone back to work. While essentially that is a good thing, his work weeks are short (so are the paychecks) plus he’s traveling from job to job so we’re going in the hole for gas. At least he’s feeling better about doing something useful again.

My problem is that since he is essentially working part time, he could be getting unemployment to make up the difference. He has not heard a word from them since he filed his form probably 2 to 3 months ago. This is where the passive aggressive behavior comes in. I have asked him over and over to check his status. This is one thing he knows I basically have no control over. While he keeps saying he “forgot”, or will apologize profusely, he still does nothing about it. The other day he even went so far as to pretend he was going to look into it when I mentioned it, but he never did. The one thing I will give him credit for is at least he doesn’t lie to me about it.

He also went to the doctor’s about a month ago. At the time he couldn’t get the lab work done they wanted so he has to go back. This too is something he could easily take care of on one of the days he only works half or one of the days he’s not scheduled to work at all. Once again, something I have no control over. He’s already had a mini-stroke so he knows that it is really important to me that he takes care of himself. This too, he seems to passive aggressively “forget”.

No one likes a nag. I am not normally a nag. I mention something and then I usually let it go, unless it never gets resolved. I would rather someone tell me either they have no intention of doing something at all, ever, or it’s none of my business, than to go through this passive aggressive BS all the time.

As I said, the passive aggression is still alive and well living at my house. LOL

The Jokes On Us- A Little Passive Aggressive Humor

Yesterday was so heavy duty, that today I thought I would give you a little passive aggressive humor. This joke was in my inbox this morning and I thought of this blog instantly. Enjoy=) I’ll be back tomorrow with part 2 of “Resenting The Passive Aggressive“.

His and Her Diaries

HER DIARY
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY
My Snowmobile wouldn’t start today, can’t figure out why, but at least I got laid.

Humor, Holiday Blues, And Passive Aggressives

Ever wish...? LOL

Humor, holiday blues, and living with a passive aggressive husband, wife or child. You have to have a sense of humor, because you get the holiday blues, because of  coping with a passive aggressive spouse. They just seem to go hand in hand, don’t they? LOL.

Whatever you celebrate this time of year, be it Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or many other celebrations I know nothing about, if you’re already having problems in a relationship, there is nothing like this time of year to accentuate it. Between the stress of Christmas shopping, not enough money, normal depression over your relationship, and having to deal with family members, it can all seem like it’s crashing in around you.  So My Dears, I am here with ammunition to fight back! No matter what kind of situation you’re in right now, this can be the time to mark the end of a bad year and a stepping stone into the future of good years. Who says we have to wait for New Year’s Day?

My Tips For Beating the Holiday Blues

1) Don’t fight it! All of us at sometime have just wanted the holidays to be over, kicking and screaming all through the season. It doesn’t seem to work. No matter what we do, we’re still faced with it at some point. So, instead of fighting it, get into it. It’s not about the money and the gifts. It’s about the love and the Spirit.  If you don’t have it, get around people that will share theirs. Remember what it was like as a kid, and if you have bad memories from childhood, then make some new good ones. I know. It all sounds easier said than done right? Who wants to be “merry-making” when you feel like crap? That’s when we need it the most. Go for it.

2) “Sing joyful noise unto the Lord”. This is one of my favorite scriptures and one of my favorite tips. (Just as a side note, I could never understand with this being a well known scripture, why church hymns sound so depressing. I’m so glad they’ve started introducing contemporary music). Anyway, hardly anything will do your heart as much good as music. Whether you’re singing the corny Christmas carols, rocking to your favorite heavy metal, or twanging to a little country, it can’t help but lift you up and help you avoid depression.

3) Humor, once again is another old friend when it comes to managing holiday stress. Many of us find it difficult to laugh at our passive aggressive spouse’s behavior because the resentments and the wounds sometimes go to deep, but you can still laugh at other things. If nothing else go to YouTube and search “funny” or “comedy” movies. Not everyone’s sense of humor is the same, as I found out when I posted the video in my last post and had 2 people “unsubscribe” lol, but there is bound to be a couple on there you would enjoy. The thing that’s nice about YouTube is they’re usually pretty short, so it doesn’t take a lot of time out of your day to get a laugh or two.

4) Be realistic in your expectations. If you’re involved with someone who has a passive aggressive personality disorder, you are never going to get that “perfect Christmas” or holiday. Many of us get the blues and depression during the holidays because we think we’re missing out on something that goes on in “normal people’s lives” and in “normal” families. Just what is “normal” anyway? For us, normal is what we live every day. It’s normal for us. If you’re not happy with it during the rest of the year, you’re not going to be happy about it now.

It’s up to you to change it for you. It’s still magic and now we’re older and probably have a better sense of what  it truly means than we ever did. Make some new traditions, help somewhere where you’re needed by volunteering. Nothing makes you feel better than knowing you did something really good for someone else who really needed the help. Most of all, remember that this is time you will never get back. Let’s make a pact right here that we are not going to allow our passive aggressive spouses, partners, in-laws, co-workers, children, or anyone else spoil it for us, including ourselves.

If you’re depressed, or more angry than usual, feel free to get it out right here, like an emotional dump. Then enjoy how much better you feel and carry that with you. If you have any holiday tips of your own on how you manage the stress of the season, please share them. We can all use the help with our sense of humor, holiday blues, and passive aggressives! LOL.

A Little Passive Aggressive (Scrabble) Humor

While for the most part there isn’t a whole lot funny about passive aggressive behavior, I thought we could all use a little chuckle this morning. Found this on YouTube. I’ve always said one of the most important things in coping with a passive aggressive is to keep your sense of humor. Enjoy =)