Which will you be this year? Will you be the passive aggressive’s Valentine or a sitting duck? To me, this has got to be the passive aggressive’s favorite holiday, right up there with Christmas when it comes to disappointment.
If you and the passive aggressive are on the outs, or you’ve called him/her out on his/her behavior, this is the perfect time for him/her to sweep you back in. If the passive aggressive is malicious enough, he/she knows how much this day means to you and will use it to hurt you yet one more time.
They say it’s worse to be with someone and still be lonely, than it is to just be alone. I would say that would be the case with most that are married or involved with a passive aggressive. I’ve noticed this year there seems to be a lot of clubs, etc. advertising parties for people who are not someone’s valentine. There’s nothing saying we can’t partake in something like that, celebrating the fact that we’re just alive and full of love ourselves, with or without anyone else.
If you are one in a position that whenever it comes to something special, your passive aggressive lets you down, now is as good a time as any to change that!
First, don’t expect anything special. This way if he/she screws up it won’t hurt as bad because you weren’t expecting anything special anyhow. If he/she does do something or remembers Valentine’s Day, it will just be icing on the cake, not something you’re depending on.
Second- There’s no law says we can’t do for ourselves what we would have liked someone else to do for us. Pamper yourself. Put everyone on notice you are doing things on this day to love yourself. I know if you have little kids or schedules, there are still things you have to work around, but there’s nothing saying you can’t pick yourself up a bottle of wine, some roses for the bath water, and anything else you want to spoil yourself. Then when you have the time, enjoy it. Remember how much you used to love yourself and how you are so worth it!
Third- You must have single friends or relatives. They probably aren’t loving this day either. See if you can get together for lunch or to do something fun so that you enjoy at least part of your day. It will help going into the evening.
And- If you’re really ambitious, you could bake some cookies and take them to a homeless shelter, or old folks home. Or grab a big bunch of cheap balloons and do the same. To see the light on the faces will fill your heart with so much love, nothing could take that away.
It’s up to you to take the mindset that you need to love yourself. That you are worth loving yourself and being loved by others. Certainly we can do that for ourselves at least once a year. We have to be pro-active when it comes to the passive aggressive. Otherwise, you’ll just keep drowning.
So, are you going to be a Valentine or a sitting duck?
Filed under: coping, dealing with holidays, examples of passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive relationships, Valentine's Day | Tagged: coping with passive aggressive behavior, holidays and the passive aggressive, passive aggressive, passive aggressive holidays, passive aggressive relationships, Valentine's Day | 7 Comments »