Quiet In The Passive Aggressive Household

The BF’s son is at his mother’s, my kids have left, and it’s just the two of us until Sunday, at least. Needless to say, after all the activity it’s very quiet in the passive aggressive household today.

Needless to say not another thing has been mentioned by the passive aggressive boyfriend regarding his long time secret. In fact after I mentioned it the second time, I guess he thinks that’s all there is because ever since then he’s acted like it never happened.

I didn’t mention it to my kids while they were here before Christmas because I didn’t want things to be awkward. The day after Christmas they all took me out for my birthday, and I told them the BF was still married then. Of course they asked for details, etc. but then I was rather surprised at how non-plussed they were. They asked what I was going to do next, but they really felt like it was not really that big a deal. It was like “so they just never got to the paperwork. No biggie.”
It’s hard to believe that 2 of these 3 kids didn’t even like him for a long time when we first got together. LOL

In the meantime, over the holidays I had to take back a mobile home that I had sold on an installment contract 5 yrs. ago. The guy had quit making payments, and has done nothing but basically ruin my life for the last 3 out of the 5 yrs. For some reason about 2 yrs. into the contract he felt I should just give him the mobile, that he shouldn’t have to pay interest on the loan, etc. It’s been a mess. I held an auction, no one bid, so it reverts back to me. I am currently waiting for him to get out. In the meantime, while he’s moving out, he is completely gutting the place. It’s a wreck. He’s ripped out all the carpet, and anything else he can as far as I can tell. I haven’t been inside yet, but just from what I could see, I have a mess on my hands. I had already decided we were going to move back into it. I love the location and we will save a fortune in rent compared to the place we’re in now. I never dreamt that he would destroy it. I should have known. He’s the biggest narcissistic sociopath I have ever come across.

When I started this blog about my passive aggressive boyfriend, I stated that I stay for convenience. That even though I’m not getting the sex, love and affection I need, I don’t have time in my life to pursue anything else. He is helpful at times, especially in the past with my mother, and he’s put up with a lot that no other man would have over the last 11 yrs. I am cleaning up old loose ends, getting a couple of businesses going, and I don’t want to have to worry about anything else.

I have decided that even in light of this new found knowledge about him still being married, I am going to go on with things as they have been, for now. This is because it’s easiest for me. It has nothing to do with how he acts, what I feel or don’t feel for him, etc. It has to do with the fact he really doesn’t put demands on me and I could use the help to get moved, do repairs, etc. It’s not a matter of any great love-loss here as much as it is having someone to help share the burden of this next step in my life. I could never do what needs to be done by myself. I’ll worry about the other stuff later.

In the meantime, thank you all for your support and for being here for me. It really means a lot to me, and helps me keep things in perspective. Please feel free to say whatever you have to say. I think about each comment.

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2 Responses

  1. Ladybeams
    Dear lady…I know the exhaustion you must feel.
    As for the man who tore up Your mobile home: there is legal recourse for that! Please just don’t let him walk away unscathed. I know the frustration and the fact that you have so much on your plate right now, but don’t let the man tear up what is yours. If you can’t afford the fees of an attorney, seek one that is low or no cost to you.
    The feelings of being used by that man and your BF for so long will play havoc on your health..don’t let it!! I implore you to find whatever strength you have left after all you have been through to deal with one man at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time….first the one who is destroying your property. Once that is done, stay strong with the other.
    You have so much heaped upon you right now. I can just feel your frustrations, hurts and a feeling of giving up… but hang on. You are exhausted both physically I’m sure, and mentally..for sure. I’ve been there and done that. Be good to yourself and find your strength. You deserve it. You know all of us here are rooting for you.
    jmarie

    • jmarie- Thanks so much for the encouragement. You are so good at that. LOL. I’ll be ok. Thank the Lord I have a good outlook for lemonade. LOL. I’m really looking at this as an opportunity. As for the guy that did this, I will be meeting with the police dept. to have them write a report, and will be seeking a deficiency judgment against him for his destruction of the mobile. I think I also may be able to file a 1099 with the tax entities for the amount of the loan he flaked on. LOL. Don’t worry. While I believe in trying to love your enemies, I don’t believe in being a doormat. Thanks again for helping me stay on track!

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