Combining Passive Aggressive with Addiction

I’m expanding this blog today as I have found out very recently that my youngest child, my 20 yr. old son is addicted to Chrystal Meth. I would like to preface this with a “Thank You” to BrokenHeartedMom for her advice that probably cut my learning curve by a few years. Come to find out through my research that there can be a connection between a passive aggressive personality and addiction.

I always knew I had an addictive personality. When I was in high school the drugs of choice were acid or LSD, pot, reds or barbiturates, and bennies (amphetamines used mostly by truck drivers and dieters). I had a lot of early education on drug abuse and basically it scared me so I wasn’t very experimental. I tried pot and it put me to sleep. I was basically lazy anyhow and I would wake up to find I had missed everything at the party, so it didn’t hold any attraction. Besides, it was the “gateway to stronger drugs.” I liked reds because they gave me the same feeling as being drunk without having to drink, but did them rarely because like drinking you don’t have much control over your actions. My drug of choice were bennies. I loved them. I didn’t eat, had lots of energy, got a ton of things done. I also knew I could get very addicted and like so many other drugs, the more you took the more you had to take for them to work. I would only allow myself 2 a day and not for two many days in a row. I think I quit because 1) I couldn’t afford them 2) I moved and did not have easy access anymore.

You may be wondering what this has to do with my son’s addiction. First of all, between me and his father (long time ex) he may come by the ability to get addicted easily through heredity, as his dad is an alcoholic. There is some theory that a gene is passed from father to son and the ability to become an alcoholic is more likely. Secondly, it was my ability to control weather I got addicted to the drugs I chose, that makes my son’s addiction a little hard for me to understand, especially when he is saying how much he wants to quit. (I have since learned that is more of a manipulation technique than a fact).

The notion of the “addictive personality” is relatively new and has a significant community of supporters. According to its supporters, the addictive personality is a distinct psychological trait that predisposes particular individuals to addictions.

Some mental health experts find it useful to view addiction as including all self-destructive, compulsive behaviors. Some even go so far as to include the relatively benign activity of compulsive television-watching. Moderation is the distinguishing characteristic. Most drinkers do not become alcoholics, and most runners do not become running addicts. However, if the runner is compulsively using his activity to cope with unresolved internal conflicts to the extent that he keeps injuring his body or destroying his work and family relationships, then he too has fallen victim to addictive behavior. He has become so dependent on the physical ”high” he gets from his all encompassing running that he cannot concern himself with the difficulties it is causing.

According to Michael J Formica in an article for Psychology Today, 

addicts exhibit a number of passive-aggressive characteristics such as a failure to follow through with responsibilities, a general irresponsibility and failure of priorities, chronic tardiness, money problems, a lack of judgment, unbridled anxiety or depression, a general disregard and lack of respect for themselves and for the sensibilities of others, poor boundaries – the list could be endless, but this is a fair, generalist picture.

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4 Responses

  1. I’m still torn about the “disease” model. Sometimes my drug addict’s behavior is so cunning, it’s hard to believe he does not know what he is doing. I don’t know. Once they are addicted, all bets are off anyway.
    I don’t believe in therapy or talking it out in groups. What may help them is very unpleasant results from their using.

  2. I think you’re right, but it’s so hard to watch them have to go thru it. Right now my son is new enough to addiction that his friends are all eager to help him with whatever he needs. I think that will have to wear off for him to feel how really bad it can be.
    Thank you so much for stopping by Lou. I’m honored.

  3. the non conformer- Thanks for stopping by.
    Yes, I agree with you. I think a lot of them have passive aggressive personalities. I’m never sure when they say “Have a nice day” after they’ve just written you up for a ticket if that’s a little pa jab of some sort or not. LOL

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